The Ghosts of Christmas Past

I don't know what it is about the end of the year. It seems like people use December as a means to reconnect with all those people they haven't talked to all year long. People gather for drinks or over dinner to talk about how they haven't communicated in forever. We should always be in touch with people. So, lately, people from my past have been tracking me down. Right before Thanksgiving, this guy who I briefly dated in L.A 6 1/2 years ago messages me on myspace. We hadn't talked in that span of time. Now we "talk" online and he just called me today. Who would have thought that after all this time we'd reconnect? Then a couple of days ago a guy I went to high school with messaged me on myspace. I hadn't talked to him since high school (like 1995) and now there's a possibility I'll see him when I'm home for Christmas next week. What's weird is he knows my Ex Boyfriend and is good friends with his brother. He was actually at Ex Boyfriend's brother's wedding and so was I. I don't remember seeing him, then again, I fervently tried to avoid anyone I went to school with there. I don't mind people tracking me down. It's actually a nice surprise. But, I never would've thought to track down these people on my own. Also the other night I reconnected with my pal Jenny. We've been friends since 4th grade and only really talk around our b-days (her bday is 2 days before mine.) She just joined myspace and we ended up talking online for a couple of hours. She's freshly single, something I can relate to. I like single people better than relationship people these days. I'm hoping to see her soon. Why can't people stay in touch better?

What sucks is most of friends are scattered across the country. I don't have a single friend from home who lives in Chicago. If i want to see most of my friends, this involves spending a lot of money I don't have travelling. At the same time, it gives me a reason to visit some places. These rekindled friendships brings up the factor of time. In April, I reconnected with my friend Erin who I hadn't seen in 12 years! We were brought together at our friend's wedding in California. It was strange because when I saw her, it felt like no time had passed. But, 12 years! Where had the time gone? Where does time go? Why did we let 12 years pass us by? 6 years? But I do like how you can just pick up where you left off with people you do have a history with.

So at the end of the year, I'm feeling strangely optimistic about the future. I'm interested to see who else will pop up back in my life. I'm interested to see how the next 2 weeks of the year will play out. Maybe these people who have come back won't amount to much. Maybe they'll just be a fleeting moment of reconnect, or maybe more. The door is never completely shut. You just never fucking know what can or will happen. This is a good kind of uncertainty. The possibilities, wondering what or who will show up behind door #3. I think I have deal with my past right now before I can deal with the future. So, bring on the ghosts. I'm unflappable.