The Joys of Being Homeless

It's been two days and I'm still homeless. I am keeping it in stride, though. There are advantages to being homeless. Like today, I had a free Jamba Juice coupon. I'm also saving a little on rent right now. I think I'm going to get one of those homeless signs and stand on the street corner. Maybe I can start turning tricks for some extra income. Hell, I could probably secretly crash at my office. Everyone leaves by 6, there is a shower in the bathroom, there's internet, and a kitchen. No couch though. The floor would be too hard. I'm okay "living" where I am now, but it's cramped quarters and my stuff is everywhere. I can't find anything. Half of my stuff is at my friend's place, the other half in another friend's storage across town. The thing I've learned the most is be on the fucking lease or sign some sort of agreement! It's been twice now I've been kicked out for not being on the lease. I feel like I keep going in circles, always ending up where I initially started. I've been so scattered during my stint in Chicago. It'd be nice to stay in one place for a while and not to have to haul my stuff around all the time. I'm thinking about writing a book. Here's what the chapters will be like. Chapter One: "So, You're Boyfriend Kicked You Out and Ruined Your Life." Chapter Two: "So, You Got Evicted...Again." Chapter Three: "Living With a Lesbian." Chapter Four: "So, You Have Sociopaths as Neighbors Who Happen to Own Two "Unfriendly" Dogs." And so on and so forth. I think it'd be a bestseller. No one would believe this shit. They'd probably think I pulled a James Frey and made it all up. I think my life would also make a good MTV reality show: "The Garin Show" starring the ever adaptable me. Cameras could follow me around knowing at any given minute some sort of drama will occur. I have friends who call me and say their lives are boring. At least I can say my life is always interesting. One of my friends, who I hadn't talked to in like 3 days, found out about my situation and called me. I told her she needs to check in with me everyday because stuff happens pretty quickly with me. One minute everything is fine, the next my life is one great disaster area with police tape surrounding it. Luckily, I'm the kind of gal who can get by without much and can simply pick up and leave whenever it's needed. I think what I'm most bummed about is no more hot, French roommate. I never did get to see him with his shirt off or have my way with him. Sigh. Just when I was beginning to parle francais, aussi.

Later in the week, I will have some nice distractions with a couple of concerts. This weekend Artropolis starts, a 4 day art show with art exhibits from all around the world here in Chicago. Since I'm an "art critic," I get to go for free. Yippee. I am truly exhausted right now. It's very hard for me to be here at work. I mean, it's always hard, but especially when I'm so distraught and stressed about my turn of events, it makes everything more difficult. I wish I could take the rest of the week off, but alas, I can't. I'm worthless right now. I think I need to change my chi somehow and emit more positive vibes. For some reason I keep attracting negative situations. This is not boding well for me. Something good better come out of this. Like me winning the lottery. I deserve something good to happen. Just gotta keep on moving forward and gotta keep the good karma coming with people. Viva homelessness!