Dear Chicago,

Chicago I love you, but you're bringing me down. You kick my ass on a daily basis. L.A was rough to me at times, but L.A never made me homeless. Twice. I've been with you for almost three years now. The truth is, you weren't my first choice–New York was. In the past three years, you have given me two bouts of homelessness and various horrible day jobs thus leading to bouts of unemployment. You've exposed to me to such things as a major breakup, a dead body lying in the courtyard of my apartment building, having a cab driver almost rape me, my car being broken into twice, insane living situations, having a certain someone call security on me, and other major and minor catastrophes. But for all of the drama you put me through, you've given me so much more.

When I first moved here in late May 2004, I hated you, Chicago. I spent days all alone and only knew one person who was never around. But then something happened. I fell in love with you. The summer of 2004 changed my life. I started to get more into indie rock music. Interpol's sophomore album (their third comes out in July) was released. Wilco had a new album (their new one comes out soon). I began to interview bands for Chicago Innerview, a publication that'll always be dear to me. I interviewed my very first band, Black Dice, in July of 2004 and then attended my first show seeing them and Animal Collective. It took me a while to catch on that I could actually attend shows for free. Before moving here Chicago, I only went to shows sporadically. Now I go on a weekly basis. You have given me the gift of your fertile music scene. You've given me my journalism "career," or at least the beginning of one. Since living here, I've written for so many publications locally and nationally. You bestowed on me my internship at The Onion, a dream come true. You taught me how to write about all your great restaurants and art shows that come here. You've got style and culture. You've given me a lot to blog about. Chicago, you're at your best in the summertime with your Pitchfork fest and Lollapalooza. Maybe this year you will help me get in for "free" again. Your sprawling lake front always awes me. You are close a distance to my family in Ohio, too. You are a very easy city to get along with. I'm sorry I have yet to experience a Cubs or White Sox game, but maybe I will. Then again, I lived in L.A for 5 yrs and never went to a Dodgers game. Chicago, you are unpredictable. Your weather is so erratic. I'll never understand how one can wear shorts one day and hats and gloves the next. Your train system is simple to maneuver for the most part, but compared to NY's, the CTA sucks.

Chicago, you make me complacent. You spin me around in circles. I always end up back where I started it seems. Everything lately seems like a lateral movement. I could have left you a couple of years ago, but I decided to stick it out. I never thought I'd stay this long with you. You are apart of me, Chicago, almost too much apart of me. I think I'm going to need some space, soon. You are my safety net and I don't know if this is a good thing anymore. There is another world out there for me to experience. I'm considering leaving you for New York. I know New York is all shiny and new, but I have to know. I have to discover it for myself. I know I'd probably end up back with you Chicago, but we will need to take a break soon. Everytime I try to separate from you, I can't. You entice me with your beauty, charm, friendly denizens, your randomness, your French community, your fine selection of guys, and infinite six degrees of separation. I've met some pretty damn awesome people here. Despite all the setbacks and the way you batter me sometimes, you always redeem yourself with me and come through. I will greatly miss you when I do leave. I will cry and yearn for you, but it'll be for the best. I will miss all the people you've given me and experiences, but we'll keep in touch. I'll come visit, I promise. We will always be friends. I turned my back on L.A, but L.A wasn't meeting my needs. I occasionally visit L.A, but I'm glad L.A and I are no longer together. But you Chicago, I know I will come back to you. Oh Chicago, you're like a lover I can't leave but know I should. Whatever obstacles you throw at me, I will surmount them. You can't get rid of me just yet. Maybe I have a lot more I need to discover and learn from you before I run away. I'm not entirely ready to quit you, Chicago, but soon enough, I will have no choice.