Moving Forward

So, I feel much better about things today. I think I overreacted a little in my previous post. Last night I was all set to stay home and mope, but my friend convinced me to go out and I had fun. I freaked some Christians out, indulged in some fine cheeses and wines, got free food and beer at a street fest, and had a good vodka induced slushi at a gay bar. Good times. At least I have great friends to surround myself with. I'm gonna quit getting so upset over these guy situations. I will file each one under life experience. Or as my friend mentioned, "Each time you get closer to the mark." She also mentions it's good to be hungry in a metaphoric sense because once you finally "eat," it'll be the best thing ever. So maybe I should hold out for the whole package with a guy. I'm not going to settle and that's my problem. I could've settled many times for an average guy or average job, but I refuse to do so. I'm aiming high. I guess one of the reasons I'm drawn to these non-committal types is because I like the challenge. I don't want it to be too easy because if it is, I quickly become bored. At the same time, it shouldn't be hard to be someone. It should be effortless. And if it is too hard, it's better to put your energies elsewhere. And maybe I haven't met the person who can meet all of my expectations. Or have I? I'm still terrified of a full-fledged relationship, so this is another reason I can't seem to get it together with someone. I will have to let it have a life of its own and not stress over it so much. I'm also kind of frustrated with guys who like me who I don't like back. Why can't the ones I really like give it right back to me? It's so difficult for things to be mutual sometimes. So, all I can do at this point is keeping trudging ahead and not allow certain incidents that transpired this weekend get to me. It's the guy's loss really. Hey, I tried and tried. But enough. He's missing out. Some people are too messed up to be with anyone. Sometimes people do have a way of coming around when you least expect them to, but you have to put them out of your mind and not hope for it. Meanwhile, I'll move onto the next person and keep trying (although not too hard), and if things don't work out, I'll keep moving on until it does all come together--this just may take longer than I want it to. Until then, I'll focus on more positive things.