All My Friends

Friday night we had another one of our infamous My Open Bar bashes. As always, it was sheer madness with all the people who came. There were more people there than capacity allowed so some people missed out on the free beer. These events are fun but also work. My job was to wristband people. I knew a lot of people there so it was hard to talk to everyone and not make them feel left out with all my running around. It was strange to have certain people come together and meet other people. I like how more and more the people I know are beginning to interact with other people I know making it even a smaller town. But mixing some people together may not be a best idea. As always, the event turned out to be quite interesting and unpredictable in a good way. I like how I can go out and unexpected things seem to happen to me. I hope the vast possibilities and the sense of adventure of a well-rounded night out continues. I ended up leaving the event early to meet up with some other friends. I wanted to go back and check out the band playing then decided against it. Sometimes I wish I could see what would happen if I chose a different path. The path I did choose was solid but a part of me wanted to know what kind of antics would've occurred if I went back. One of my friends even called me the next day wondering what the hell happened to me. It's always nice to be missed. Also this weekend rejections were reversed. It's complicated when people keep changing their minds. But as long as things remain the way they were this weekend, I will be content with the situations.

I feel like I dropped the ball a little this weekend. I was supposed to work Sat. but simply couldn't muster the strength to go to work. I needed some sleep. I did make up for it by going in for a few hours today. At least there wasn't anyone there so I was more productive. Last night I was supposed to see Frenchie one last time, but once again, I was tired and didn't feel like going out and drinking. Now I may not see him before he leaves tomorrow. I keep thinking how I should've gone out anyway. I hate it when I don't do certain things because I feel like I'm missing out on a possible experience. At the same time, I hate goodbyes and probably would've ended up crying. I'm sad he's leaving. I can't believe 6 months have flown by! When he got here, it was freezing out. I never thought I'd befriend French people and be entertaining the idea of going to France. He sorta changed my life and I'll never forget that. There will be a void here in Chicago without him. No more hot French guy! I guess it'll give me an incentive to go to France to see him. I have a reason, now. I must see him again...

I spent part of Sat. afternoon with Ex Boyfriend. Our old roommate from L.A is in town so we met up with him at a couch surfing get together. Yes, couch surfing. I could tell the people there were secretly judging me because I'm not a coach surfer and I'm not foreign. There were some hippie types there who albeit were nice but weren't the type of folks I'd normally hang out with. I like the fact Ex Boyfriend and I can civilly hang out together but of course the past is always regurgitated and we end up rehashing who did what to whom in an old married couple banter. I'm glad we can still be friends even though sometimes it's complicated and makes me feel bad.

I'm in a mode where I don't want to work. I don't want to work my temp job and I don't even want to intern. I want to socialize and sleep. It's difficult to balance everything sometimes and to fit it all in, but I think for the most part, I'm able to do it. I have a couple of deadlines looming this week, so I need to prioritize those. I just have to take things day to day. I would like some time to travel to NY or L.A next month but it all costs money. I'm getting nervous about my big 30th coming up and need to decide if I'm going to throw a big party or not. Things in general are making me nervous. I'm just trying to keep my head above water, get things accomplished, and put the puzzle together. Sometimes my head reels with scenarios. I need to quit analyzing everything to death.