The Eye of the Storm

Today is Lollapalooza and I'm stuck at work. Of all the days to be working. It doesn't matter because the bands I really want to see aren't until later tonight, but I'm feeling very anxious and restless right now, especially since I don't actually have tickets. Last year I made my own wristband and I'm going to attempt to do the same. Tomorrow I'm supposed to hand out magazines for Chicago Innerview at the fest which isn't my idea of fun but I do write for them and am in turn promoting my work. It doesn't get me into the fest, though. I was supposed to work the fest which would entail getting paid and free admission, but I can't really do it and don't want to do it, so I need to figure out another way, hence the wristband. They are doing all this construction here at work and it's grating my nerves! I can't stand the sound of drilling. I should fake a migraine and leave.

The rest of the weekend is going to be sheer chaos. I can't remember the last time when there was so much going on in a span of a weekend. It's Lolla all day and most of the evening for three days, but then there are after parties. I'm going to see three Lolla bands play a club tomorrow night. I got on the list and have to do a write up for one of the bands. Sunday I won a pair of Peter Bjorn and John tickets who are playing an invite only show after Lolla that night. I've already seen them twice but seeing them in a small club is so much better than seeing them at a big outdoor fest. There are various parties as well, but I probably will have to skip them. I think I may be seriously exhausted by the end of the weekend.

On Monday, I officially start my internship with Time Out. I'm very excited and nervous. I have to do well. No more fucking around. I'm also going to be working 6 days a week now at my temp gig. This is going to be nuts. Luckily, I'll be unsupervised, so as long as I get the job done, I probably can leave early and no one will even notice--especially on Saturdays. This has been such a stellar week for me career wise. I got offered an internship at one of the most prestigious publications here in Chicago (and NY), I am writing for Metromix, which is huge because hundreds of thousands of people read it everyday. And it pays. But now I have to force myself to read it daily and have become one of those people who reads it on the way to work instead of reading something substantial like classic loner fiction. I'm taking on a couple of other paid assignments. Paid is the key word. I'm going to be interviewing one of my fave bands within the next couple of weeks. Thanks to my temp gig, I have money coming in for now. When it rains it pours. I haven't been doing much for the past few weeks and all of sudden, bam. I just have to keep my head above water and stay focused and do a good job. It may behoove me to buckle down on the drinking during the week. And boy chasing. So, we'll see. I get paranoid when things are actually going well for me because I know somewhere down the line it'll dissipate. So for now I should just enjoy it and realize all my hard work and struggling could be paying off. Literally and figuratively. In the immortal words of the Mary Tyler Moore theme song: "You're going to make it afterall."

On Wednesday, my new roommate officially moved in. I must say, it's weird having him around. It's going to be an adjustment for us to fall into a routine. It's weird living with someone I actually know, someone I didn't meet off Craigslist. I feel somewhat obligated to hang out with him, but I hope he understands when I have to write and do other things. We went out a little the other night and I'm sure when time allows, we'll hang out with our mutual friends.

This week has been slow in the romance sector. I've just been really busy and so have the others. I'm beginning to wonder if having it all is possible. It seems like I can have only one or the other at a time--not both. My priority is with my career but having fun is also an option. A couple of days ago I told my crush that I have a crush on him, and it didn't go over well. I guess why it's called a crush. I knew I wouldn't get a warm reception. I could see the writing on the wall from miles away. I feel a little raw from it but I know the timing is way off. I'm not looking for a relationship and know it would turn into one. Maybe. And of course there is someone else who I think may be making an appearance this weekend. I know it's not in my best interest, but I'm endlessly fascinated with him. We always want what we can't have which in turn makes me want it more.

I could sure use a vacation.