Hope for Sun, Prepare for Rain

Last night we played Capture the Flag in the Saucony league. I don't remember ever playing that as a kid. I played similar games like freeze tag and Mother May I, but definitely not Capture. It was sorta a lame game, but we won. Afterwards, we went to the open bar which entailed a lot of drinking and shots which led me to throw up. Um, yeah. I can't remember the last time I've thrown up. But you know, I felt so much better afterwards. Goddamn Saucony.

Lately, I've been thinking how lucky I really am. I finally have a job and can actually afford to buy things. I'm with someone who's really attentive and someone who's even looking into taking me to the Caribbean. In a week, I'll be moving into an apartment where every morning when I wake up, I'll be able to look out the window and see the lake. At the same time, I'm terrified everything is going to fall apart and I'll be back to square one. I just want things to progress and move forwards, not backwards. I need to hold onto things. I think my new motto is going to be "hope for sun but prepare for rain." That sounds about right. And even though I'm making some money now, I need to try to save as much as possible and pay stuff off. Next week is going to be crazy. I'll be moving and then the first night at my new place is Lollapalooza. I have to see Radiohead next Friday night there or I'll freak out. I'm hoping it'll be the highlight of my summer. I just have to get through this move which is not going to be fun. I'm hoping August will be a good month for traveling. The third weekend in August, my friends are going up to the Upper Peninsula and staying at a cabin in Witch Lake (which sounds like a horror film title). There's a small chance I may have to go to Nashville, too.

I know I bitch a lot about my roommates, but it's going to be weird not living with them. It's been a whole year of my life and now we're all going separate ways. I've moved every year since living in the city, so I know it won't take me too long to adjust. But what I really, really want is for my guy to move in with me. One of my friend's is moving September 1st, so her one bedroom is available. It's perfect. Space, good location and cheap. I mentioned this to my guy and he's like "quit talking crazy." I don't see moving into together as some huge step in our relationship, I see it as being economical. I can't afford to live alone, I can't deal with roommates anymore, he's over at my place all the time anyway, etc. And if it doesn't work out, he can go back living where he currently lives. And we could live there month-to-month. I mean, I moved in with Ex Boyfriend after only knowing him for a month, and I've known friends who quickly moved in with significant others. And my roommate, who was very adamant about not moving in with his girlfriend, is now taking the plunge. So, that's my argument. And hey, I'm willing to live with someone again after having been kicked out. Maybe I'm just brave. I've also realized when I'm in a relationship, I'm very all or nothing. Things have a tendency to move fast with me. Granted, I've only ever been in one serious relationship, but things moved fast but yet felt very natural and normal. This relationship feels the same way. I don't understand why guys get so freaked out by the idea of living with someone. Geez.

I feel like major changes are on the horizon. I think things have been slowly changing for a while. All of my close friends in Chicago are either moving or planning on moving within the next year. If they all leave me, what will I do? I don't make friends easily. I suppose I'll have to eventually leave, too.