Fall Doldrums

It seems like at the end of the year, everything comes to a screeching halt. During the first couple of months of the new year, everything continues to be sedentary. So, basically, we really only have 8-9 months of productivity in a year. It's beginning to get cold outside, but with the leaves falling and rain instead of snow, it still feels like autumn. I know winter will rear its ugly head soon enough.

I simply can't believe the holidays are upon us again. Didn't we just celebrate Christmas two months ago? It sure feels like it. I can't even remember most of what happened this year. It's like remembering in flashes or segments. Maybe I only really was alive for a month of the year. I really want the holidays to be over. And winter. I want things to pick up and stop being so uneventful and boring. Part of me just wants to start hibernating. I want to watch movies and read books and that's about it. Saturday night, I couldn't muster myself to go out. I was suppose to go to a show and a party but decided to stay in instead. I haven't really been in the mood to go to concerts, but I'm supposed to go to one tomorrow night and maybe Sat. I don't know exactly what I'd like to happen at this point, just something worth talking about. Positive stuff, though. Maybe some stuff with my writing. I'd like to make a lot of money because I'm always stressed about it. I'd like to do certain things differently because I always feel like I start back at square one and am just running around in circles.

Today I went to the "doctor" and got my annual female exam. I hope everything checks out okay. I hate that because I'm in my early 30s now, I really have to watch myself. If I was 29, getting exams wouldn't be such a big deal. I really wish I had health insurance because going to the doctor is expensive but necessary. I realized I need to lose like 10 lbs. I don't know how to do this since I hate working out and I love my carbs. I don't wanna try a fad diet, either. Maybe I'll just stress myself out so much I'll drop the weight. I'm good at that. I guess I could cut down on the drinking, but I really don't drink as much as I use to. At the beginning of the year, my goal was to be healthier this year. That went out the window pretty fast. That and jogging.

I think the thing I really want to focus on now is the My Open Bar stuff I have to do. I feel like I'm waiting, though. I need to start selling ads and promoting the shit out of the site, but I'm waiting for my bosses to send me the materials needed. I just want to get it off the ground, already. Luckily, I know a few people in sales who can give me advice on how to be a savvy businesswoman. I think this will entail attending a lot of events, networking, passing out biz cards, and face to face meetings. I guess I have to try not to think about it too much and just delve in. Hopefully I can easily sell ads and make some money from it. So, right now I just feel like I'm waiting...waiting, waiting.

In the meantime, I've been watching a lot of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I've always heard good things about that show. I started watching it a week ago and absolutely love it. It's a younger mix of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, yet meaner and more absurd. I've gotten through the first season and most of the fourth season. I'm also really getting engrossed in True Blood. With each episode, I like it more and more. It seems to get weirder and weirder, too. Maybe that's what I like about it.