Pre-Christmas Notes

I can't believe how the snow keeps tumbling down. I really wish I was one of those people who was from a warm and snowless state like CA, AZ, or FL. But instead, I will be trying to keep warm in OH for the next few days. At least OH is a little warmer than Chicago. A little.

Tomorrow morning the boyfriend, his mom and I are driving all the way to Columbus for some holiday cheer. For the first time in several holidays, I'm actually looking forward to the holiday. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact this Xmas is going to be different than most of my past Xmases. We will be celebrating in Columbus with a lot of people. It'll be nice to have someone else host the festivities. Another thing is for the first time in a while, I have a significant other to spend the holidays with. This has given me a weird sense of optimism that I haven't felt in a long time. I think it's given me one less thing to worry about, although I still worry a lot about the relationship. Silly stuff. Being with the boyfriend makes me feel less alone knowing I have him to spend my life with. There's a part of me that's also nervous because I will be meeting more of the boyfriend's family. More than anything, I want his friends and family to like me, especially to accept me more than his past girlfriends. Of course I never really get much feedback, so for all I know, everyone hates me. Ha. He always says I shouldn't care what people think because he doesn't, but I just want everyone to get a long. I also want the boyfriend to fit into my family and social group, and so far so good. I know I'll be happier once the holidays are officially over. Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who doesn't do anything for Xmas. One of my friends called his family and told them he wasn't coming home this year. Instead, he's going to stay home, order Chinese food, and watch DVDs. I wish I could do that instead of driving all over the place in this God awful weather. He feels obligated to see his family and thus doesn't want to visit them. I don't feel obligated to see my family, but taking a vacation to Fiji instead sounds pretty nice as well. I just hope I can survive the next few days. I also wish I didn't have any work to do until the beginning of the year but that's not going to happen either.

The other night, worlds collided. The boyfriend finally met the ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I feel these things should never happen, but sometimes they just do. My hunch was right: they got along splendidly. It was awkward for me to sit there and compare and contrast the two. I've come to the conclusion I do have a "type" I go for, and I've noticed several parallelisms in my relationships with both of them. But, they are two different people and these are two different relationships. I don't think I could handle meeting any of the boyfriend's exes. I'd probably scratch their eyes out. Angry kitty.

I've been thinking about some self-improvement New Year's resolutions I need to make. First, I really need to quit being so damn stubborn. As I get older, I get even more stubborn. I do have my own way of doing things, but some people think it's the wrong way. I am also aware of my stubborn tendencies, but still do things the wrong way. I suppose I need to be more adventurous with food, like try stuff I think I won't like just to see if maybe, just maybe, I would like it. I'm also going to be better at sticking with plans. If there's something I know I won't be able to commit to, I won't take it on. I need to be better at these things instead of over-booking. I want to write even more in the new year, especially for more high-profile publications. And get paid more. And also force myself to read books and write fiction. Maybe I'll start complaining less and being less negative. Seriously, in the new year, I will do better with these things. Well, maybe.