My Old Kentucky Home

Since I'm still "in between things" and since I have absolutely no money, I thought I'd do some traveling and give more meaning to the word broke. Friday I drove home to Ohio to see my family. The next morning I drove down to Lexington, KY to see my friend Jenny (whom I realized I've known for 20 years. How many people can you say you've known for 20 yrs?). From Ohio to KY is only a 2 hour drive--from Chicago it's like 7 hours. I can't remember the last time I'd been to Lexington. A couple of years ago I visited Covington and Newport, but they don't count because they are a mile across the Ohio state line. As a kid, I used to spend quite a bit of time in Kentucky. My mom owned horses and during the summer we'd go to various farms in KY for the weekend. We would go to a lot of horse shows, too. I believe the last time I was in the heart of KY was in high school when I went to some lame music festival. It had been a while.

Anyway, there's nothing in Lexington. It's quite desolate but in a good way. If you're looking for peace and quiet and malls, then Lexington is the place to live. The downtown area reminds me of a quaint college town probably because UK is centered there. No tall buildings exist whatsoever. Apparently, Lexington has a fertile history with Henry Clay, a Wild Turkey distillery, and plantation life. Unfortunately because of winter, most museums and distilleries were closed. It's too cold to leave the house anyway. Next visit, when it's much warmer, I'll have to venture out to some of these sites and report back. Jenny and I will probably visit Louisville next--a more metropolitan city. They have gambling! One nice attribute of Lexington: fried green tomatoes! I had some authentic ones at a restaurant.

Here are some supposed facts about Lexington:

• It's the capital of franchise restaurants. If you want to start a charter, Lexington is the place restaurateurs "try it out." Currently, a Nothing But Burgers may be coming to a town near you.
• It's the second most homosexual populated city behind San Francisco.
• It's the horse capital of the world, although I only saw maybe five horses.
• Churches in Lexington are like Starbucks': one on every corner. Jesus saves!

Last night Jenny and I went to a club. A very cheesy club. I'd said the median age of the clubbers was 35 or 40. There were a lot of "Desperate Housewives" type women there. A lot of women with big hair, plastered on hairspray, and perms. Who the hell still gets a perm? I realized at that moment Chicagoans have great style. At least we don't wear black, leather pants or Lee jeans to a club. I don't think Lexington has ever heard of skinny or designer jeans. I also don't think they've heard of indie rock. People were doing the Electric Slide. The Electric Slide should be reserved exclusively for weddings, if even that. There was some serious p.d.a going on at this place, some serious college student/older woman and girl on girl grinding. It was like watching a train wreck. Last night I discovered you can't dance to the Pussycat Dolls or Usher. I never want to hear this music again. I'm more of a bar person than a club person and after last night, there's a reason for it.

I was hoping being in Lexington, I'd acquire a southern accent and come back saying "Y'all" unironically. No dice. I'm stuck with my L.A valley girl accent forever.