Everything Is Fine, Everything Is Fine

"Everything is fine," my roommate keeps telling me. Everything is not fine. My other roommate is officially moving out by March 1st. I have mixed feelings. Part of me knows it's best for her to leave, the other part is sad about it. I feel bad because I can't help her with her issues. I don't know how things got to this point. I suppose the problems had been building for a while, but we chose to ignore them. I don't know how one minute you can be friends with someone and the next moment they are out of your life. Why is it so difficult to maintain friendships? Why do people simply drift apart? Even if my roommate decided to stay, it's too late. A line has been crossed and there is no returning. It's beyond rectifying. I've learned in these sorts of situations, it's best to communicate instead of avoiding confrontation. It's in your favor to discuss the elephant in the room. The living situation will now hopefully be assuaged for the time being, but the elephant still remains in the room.

Supposedly in a couple of days, we are getting a new roommate. He is a 21 year old French student we met off Craigslist. He's only been in Chicago for 2 days and needs a place to live. He's authentic French as he lives near the French Riviera. He is in town doing an internship for a few months. This is his first time in America. Hot. So, for the next couple of weeks, I will have 3 roommates: one who is severely depressed, one who barely speaks English. On the plus side, French guy is very attractive. He'll make for some nice eye candy around the pad. He speaks pretty good English--albeit slightly broken--and fluent French. I guess I need to watch Amelie to brush up on my French. I took French in high school but have forgotten most of it. The language of love! I've never been to France or Europe, so maybe here's my chance. It all seems too good to be true. A hilarious sitcom is in there somewhere or an episode of "The Real World."

I really need some stability in my life. I am lacking this. It's not even mid-February and so much has already happened this year. Things in my life are in constant fluctuation and transition. I embrace change and hate it when things get complacent and stagnant, but I'd really like to hold onto a job for longer than 2 months. I'd like to hold onto a romance for longer than 2 weeks. My living situation is rapidly shifting. I feel pressure with my writing, too. I constantly have deadlines to meet and a lot of my writing entails actually going to events and covering them. Constantly. While this is mostly fun, it also puts a strain on me to turn in quality copy. If I'm stressed, I can't turn in quality copy and in return, beat myself up. I have 2 articles to write for The Onion and as my editor put it, "you need to step it up," meaning my pieces need to be stronger. I'm good at getting things done and balancing, but sometimes I just feel like I take on too much. It would be nice to have some sort of constant, steady anchor either with work, or a guy, or home, or something.

Friday night, my friend and I went to a concert and then to the after party for free beer. Hanging out with rock stars and imbibing is what life is all about. I'm the most content when I'm going out with good company and having a nice time. You can forget all your troubles for a few hours and let it all go. A little drama is good, a whole lot of it, not so good. I realize I drink a lot more now than I did a year ago. I should become a full-fledged alcoholic. Alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.

Needless to say, there's never a dull moment in my life. Never a fucking dull moment.