The Network Game

Today is Friday the 13th. It's usually a day of either bad luck or good luck. I'm superstitious enough as is. I never walk under ladders and I try not to break mirrors. I'm very tired right now and wish I could go home and sleep, but alas, there are things to do.

Last night I went to an event called Tech Cocktail. The purpose of the event is for internet savvy people with websites (ie, geeks) to network and basically trade business cards. I went to represent My Open Bar (plug, plug) with my editor (who up until last night I'd never met but is someone who surely knows how to have a good time). Since the event consisted of 95% men, she and I used our charm to warm up to these people (ie, tekkies). The best part of the event was the free beer. Yes, all sorts of beer, free. It was worth being hit on by weird men who kept talking about coding. Needless to say, I did not meet anyone interesting, but now I have an entire stack of biz cards I will never refer to again. I'm not really good at approaching strangers and doing the whole "what can you do for me?" spiel but having a little liquor in me made it somewhat easier. Gotta work those angles.

The oddest part of the evening was running into my friend there. It's funny because two days prior I had talked to him about coming to a show and he couldn't, and then, bam, there he was at Tech Cocktail representing his company. This is the second time I've run into him unexpectedly this year. I don't know if the universe is trying to tell me something. The only thing I can gather is the universe wants us to be friends and possibly collaborate on projects together. I'd really like that. He is a well-connected guy. Or maybe it's more than that. I don't know. So, the past 2 nights I have seen 2 different ex paramours. One I knew I'd see, the other not. I've gotten to the point with these guys where it isn't awkward anymore--for the most part. I feel somewhat indifferent about them. This is why it's good to be friends with everyone because you just never know when they'll pop up. Sure you think about things, but most of the time there's no going back. I'm glad there aren't any ill-feelings but seeing them reminds me of my past and everything I've been through. There is currently a guy I really do want to be with, but right now it's in a pure sense. Sometimes I think when the relationship is pure, it's better because once you cross that line there's no going back and it sets the relationship up to fail and to be tainted. It complicates things. It's also better to get to know each other on a deep, personal level first. Sex is a huge part of intimacy, but so is slowly unraveling yourself creating a connection with someone. I think my problem with other guys (excluding Ex Boyfriend) is we left everything on the surface instead of delving into what really made us tick. We never discussed past relationships or our childhoods, etc. I think it's important to discuss these things. I'm in a good place with the past but keep wondering what'll happen in the future.

Here are some weird things that happened to me this week:

Wed. night my friend and I were talking about Kurt Vonnegut and what a great writer he is. The next morning, I open the Red Eye and find out he had died that night. Weird. When we were talking about him, he'd probably already passed. RIP Kurt.

Randomly running into my friend at the Tech Cocktail.

The erratic weather. Cold, rainy, snowy, you name it. Did I mention it's April? It's like the eternal winter here. Is this a symbol for something? A symbol for my erratic life right now? Stranger things have happened, but I'm beginning to wonder.

I have a bunch of stuff to write this weekend. I really want to work on other projects but I need to find the time somehow. I also really want to read some Vonnegut and more existential authors. I need to force myself to sit down and do it but I lack the concentration. Everything and everyone in life is connected. I like that concept a lot. I like introducing my people to other people and then forming a network to go from. I like how the universe is real and makes things happen. It works in mysterious way. I love the uncertainty of life sometimes and how if you throw an idea out there, like your desire to see a person, then that person materializes when you least expect them to. You just never know what'll be around the corner. I also like supporting people and work I believe in. People need to believe more. There's so much great art in this world that needs a mean to filter through. I will dedicate my life to this.
I want something or someone to change my life. It's been a while since I've had any life changing moments or at least positive ones that don't involve death or destruction of relationships. I'm anxiously waiting the next turn.