Don't Stop Until You Get Enough

Today has flown by. I'm glad because Mondays suck. But today, everyone is out of the office except for myself and two other people. What a great way to start the week. Right now I'm feeling a bit anxious waiting to hear back about some things. I'm obsessing over a lot of things at the moment. First of all, waiting to hear if I'll be going to the Peter Bjorn and John show tomorrow. If I don't get to go, I think I'll simply die. Also waiting to hear if I'll be attending a few other upcoming shows. There are like 10 I want to see in within the next month, so I'm doing my best to work my angles to write about them so I can go for free. I have to start thinking about how to get a press passes to Pitchfork and Lollapalooza this year. I hope I don't have to make another wristband this year for the latter. I will if I have to. In the past week, I've attended two open bars. This is a new obsession of mine. Free booze! It can be dangerous though, so all in moderation. There's so much free booze in this town people really should know about it. I haven't been writing very much lately. This is also causing anxiety. I guess I don't feel like it as much. Sometimes I think it's futile. I don't want to work. I want to go out and have fun. But I really need to throw my writing into full throttle, like start reworking and rejuvenating this book I've been writing for two years. I have a lot of fresh content to work with now. So, we'll see. I wish New City would pay me and get back to me about a couple of queries. I want to write more articles for The Onion, but alas, people take their time getting back to me. I get nervous when they don't.

I feel like I've turned into Paris Hilton of late. Not quite, but everything has been so embroiled lately. And look what happened to her. It's not even summer yet and I've had something going on every night this past week. I simply can't slow down, though. I need to be out there, being social, networking, meeting guys, etc. It's my livelihood at the moment because the alternative is being alone and famine, and I much rather have it be feast than famine. So I have to go with it, strike when the iron is hot because it's fleeting. Moments are fleeting, too. They may only last an hour or two, so you gotta enjoy it while you can. I'm worried it's all going to fall apart, that these options I have now will disintegrate quickly and I'll be left with nothing. I worry about getting the "let's be friends speech." I hate that. A part of me is searching for love, the other part not. I can't make a decision about what I truly want. I suppose the universe will make one for me. I do like it when guys are chivalrous like when they open doors for me and buy me drinks, and hold me hand, and call me names like "doll" and "darling." I love discoursing to guys about music. But I do want to take the time to get to know someone. Why don't people talk for 5 hours on end and really get to know one another anymore? That's what I want. Good conversations and hand holding and snuggling. With the right person of course. And then maybe some hardcore, passionate, um, well, okay.

Over the weekend I re-watched the film Happy Accidents . I love that movie. Marisa Tomei plays a neurotic chick who tries to fix guys with serious issues. She has issues, too. She's drawn to complicated men. Geez, that sounds familiar. Akin to her, I like the challenge. One guy recently said to me he wishes I'd make time for him. This is a first because usually it's the other way around. Here's an interesting text message I received last night:

"You have the spirit of a bright shining star twinkling above like a beacon of inspiration flashing hope to a lonely wanderer floating complacently among a veritable sea of carbon copy women in Chicago." Um, thanks I guess? It's the deepest text I've ever received.

Another random quip. Someone came across my blog Googling: "nude lesbo roommates." Oh my.

Here's to another whirlwind week.