Leave it Up to the Earth

I'm glad it's Friday. I've officially been out of work for an entire week and don't really have any prospects. I will probably at least have some temp work next week I'm hoping. I don't miss the job much except for one aspect which I will not go into. I don't miss working either except for that thing called money and feeling like a slacker all day. This week kinda sucked. I didn't go out much. Wasn't drunk once--a contrast from last week. I watched some movies, the season finale of "Grey's Anatomy" (intense!), and I actually sat down and wrote last night and today.

I really need to buckle down and get a steady job, no more temp/contractor type bullshit. Most of my friends have jobs and of course they all hate them and it's not what they want to be doing 40 hrs a week, but they're steady jobs. I need to up my tolerance and just take any job I get. I've only had one salaried/benefit job and of course I quit it (to this day, only job I ever quit mind you). Suck it up, I guess. I need this stupid slump to end and get back into the game. I keep saying affirmations like "I attract positive situations." It's true though, what you put out there you get back and I'm obviously putting out negative vibes. My luck needs to change somehow. I need to reverse it. But, it's easier to fall into the negative than positive thoughts especially when you don't see results right away. I guess I have no other choice than to think positive or at least trick myself into it. Maybe then things will start to break.

Despite my dull week, I'm charged for the weekend which will surely be blog worthy. It will probably make up for the lack of activity this week. Tomorrow I'm participating in something called Urban Golf. Basically you take a hockey stick or golf club, hit tennis balls down an alley, and drink a lot. It's for the kids. Tomorrow night is up in air if I'm going to show or not. For a second I was, then it fell through. There's still a chance. There's are always chances. I've been thinking about the universe and how some things happen while others don't. I don't know what to do with my life, but I've decided to leave it up to the Earth. My friends used this term. A part of me thinks I should sit here and let something (like a job) fall into my lap, but I'm an action orientated person. Sometimes you just do everything you can and then sit back and see what happens. Sometimes my impatience creeps in and I end up meddling to the point of sabotaging the situation. Sometimes I just need to step back and not force things. So, if something is meant to be for me, it'll happen, right? I'm feeling this on many aspects. If I get to go to that concert tomorrow night, I will take is as a sign in one particular direction. If not, oh well. Maybe they'll be other opportunities. I'm hoping the Earth will reveal itself more in the next week and at least point me in the direction I'm supposed to go towards and whose arms I'm really meant to fall into.