Ghosts of Chicago

I had the craziest night last night and I attribute it to the full moon and impending Halloween. With that said, I'm not going to talk about it on here. Last night I came to a decision which from now on, no matter, what, I'm sticking to: I will no longer blog about my love life. Period. I know I've said this before and I know I improved by not revealing names, but I've realized lately that some of the content I do discuss on here is having a backfiring affect. One of the reasons I have this blog is for my friends, families, and strangers to gain insight into my crazy life, but I still can write about my life just not so personally. From now on if any of you dear readers want to know what's going on in my love life, you're gonna have to ask me because I'm not talking about it on here anymore. What will I talk about then, you ask? Hmm. I don't know. [insert long pause]. I think I need to start writing more "fictional" stories that way I can get personal yet it'll be deemed "fiction." I do have a fiction blog I need to start updating more frequently but I don't know when I'll have the chance to do it.

I'm at the age where I can't believe my life is the way it is. I was thinking how when I lived in LA, my life was pretty interesting working on tv shows and meeting celebrities and such, but that was more work orientated. Since living in Chicago, my life has been crazy in a different way, in a deeply personal way. After you've lived in a city for a while, you begin to form ghosts so to speak. I could offer a walking tour of the city and point out to you all sorts of places. I'd start with my first apartment here, the one where I lived with Ex Boyfriend. I could show you the hotel I stayed at after Ex Boyfriend kick me out. I could point out bars and venues where I saw bands play. I could point out street corners where I had interesting conversations with people. I could show you all the buildings where I've work, and believe me, it's a lot. And so forth. But these places would only be of interest to me. They'd only resonate with me. It's become apart of who I am. Some people think in the past couple of years I've been acting out doing some crazy things but I don't see it that way. I inevitably want experiences to write about. My goal is to someday publish a book of "fiction" or novels and I need those personal experiences to create these stories. I've always been a bit of a latebloomer, too, so now at 30, I find myself doing things I should've done at 22. It's okay, I guess. Chicago is one great adventurous city. It's full of randomness, and late night conversations, and melodrama. The denizens kick my ass all the time, but I've learned how to fight back. I've learned how to let go and move ahead. Yeah, my life may be crazy, and interesting and full of heartache sometimes and frustration, but in the immortal words of Talk Talk, "It's My Life." Someday I'll settle down and look back on these days and probably miss them. I'll genuinely miss the drama and the boys who got away, and those drunken late nights, and walking the streets in search of something or somebody. Soon, some of the people I know now will turn into ghosts and disappear from my life. I will miss them, but will have to accept letting them go. But for now, well, I might as will enjoy the ride that is my absurd life.

Speaking of absurd, this weekend is going to be no exception. I have friends arriving late night tomorrow night. Saturday night we have reservations at the Signature Lounge. The restaurant is on the 94th floor of Hancock and overlooks the entire city. I went there once before. It's expensive, though. There are a couple of parties Saturday night we're going to. I just wish it'd warm up! I hate walking around in the chill. The winter of our discontent is almost here.