The New Old

Tonight is one of those cold, rainy, October nights when the leaves are beginning to scatter everywhere and stick to the wet sidewalk. When I left this morning, it was warm out but suddenly it became freezing. Winter will soon be here and I'm not looking forward to it. I feel things beginning to shift again. It is fall and a time for change and every couple of months I begin to notice things shifting around and great changes on the horizon. I'm not sure what's on the horizon, but big things are in the works. I think. I seriously don't want it to get cold at all. It's almost Halloween, too. This weekend is going to be crazy, I know it. One of my best friend's, who I haven't seen since January, is coming into town and there are so many parties and open bars to attend. I hate getting dressed up for Halloween, but I have to be something. I don't have the creative energy nor bank account to put a lot into a costume, so I was thinking maybe I'll go as Owen Wilson. I mean, I got the blonde hair going on and all I have to do is put a bandage over the bridge of my nose indicating it's broken and then put slit marks on my wrists indicating a suicide attempt and then I'm done. But, we'll see. Halloween is the precipice of the fall and it's really down hill after that. Then it all becomes about the holidays and I fucking hate the holidays. So, I guess I need to enjoy it while I can.

This weekend was alright. I went to a good show (Shout Out Louds) and Sunday did a clothing swap with some friends and got a bunch of new old clothes. I found some shirts and jeans all for free! It's like thrift store shopping without spending money. Sat. night I hung out with some good friends. It was a bit awkward hanging out with one person who I think is an absolute douchebag, who I don't know how to talk to nor really want to be around him anymore, but like a trooper, I sucked it up. I feel like I'm always sucking something up and taking the high road. Wednesday I will have to brave yet another awkward situation. It's going to be painfully awkward but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't run away from it so might as will make the best of it. I'm not thrilled about it but whatever. I'm also beginning to realize just when you think someone is out of your life, they come back when least expected. It's funny how that works. It's like May all over again. This has happened before but it's always strange when it does reoccur. I'm all for second chances and I'm lucky in that sometimes I do get them again. I notice myself returning to the past a lot. I much rather do that then have to start all over again. You just never know who'll pop back into your life and that's part of the mystery of life. Another thing I've realized is the concept of being emotionally detached. When I get emotionally involved with someone, I immediately get disappointed. If I find myself caring for someone, I simply get my ass kicked. But if I do just a physical thing and remove myself emotionally from the situation and just see it as fun, then no one gets hurt. This is why I don't date because like I said, I get stabbed in the heart. So I keep thinking I want to date someone at least in a casual way, but somehow the universe keeps steering me away from it. It's probably protecting me in a way.

I have more writing deadlines this week. It never ends. I mean, I love what I do it's just sometimes I want to lay around and do nothing but I simply can't. I've also decided I want to be well off. Not rich, just comfortable to the point where I can buy a slice of pizza and not feel guilty for spending money. My friend posed to me the question if $10 million fell into my lap, what would I do with it? I think first I'd disappear for a while and travel the world. After a couple of months, I'd come back and then give some money to my friends and family and then just live off it. I wouldn't work or anything or I'd write novels all day long. Yeah, it would be a good life. At this point I'd just settle for $30,000/year and glory. I'd also really like to get to the point where I could walk into any bar in the city and get free drinks. I mean, I can pretty much go to any concert for free, so now I need to work the My Open Bar angle. There's no reason why I should have to pay for drinks when I write for an alcohol site.

I really need to focus on writing more fiction. The Reader has a fiction contest every year and I'm going to enter it. Someday I'd like to publish some short fiction. My fiction has a tendency to be very personal and autobiographical yet it's deemed fiction because you can change things around. There are a bunch of movies coming out I'm excited to see: I'm Not There, the new Coen brothers, the new Noah Baumbach, Control, and the new P.T Anderson. Can't wait. At least I can sorta look forward to those things.

Random notes: I'm getting yet another cold. My throat hurts. Stupid cold weather.

Inside the Hancock building is the highest grocery store in the world (private though) and the highest pool. The pool was used in the movie Poltergeist III, a guilty pleasure movie. So now you're much smarter.
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This morning I ran into Jerry Springer. I was getting on the elevator in the Hancock building (I'm writing a story on the highest grocery) and he was getting off. I've read that he lives there. Nice! Now I can stalk him. Who says you have to live in LA to see celebs?