A Few Complaints

All I feel like doing is complaining lately which isn't a good thing. I should try to be more positive but I don't know if I have it in me at this point. It's not like things are really bad, it's they could be better. It's the little things, I suppose. I'm really frustrated. So, on Tues. I drove all the way up to Lake Forest to work for three hours. All I did was take handwritten notes for two hours. It was okay and they were paying me a lot to do it, but the conversation was about some shady business practices which was weird to hear about. Also, the office had a few pond/water falls inside which I thought was interesting because I don't think I've been in many offices with these amenities. So, I had to drive all the way back to the city which took forever because of traffic and gas is pricey. There isn't a Metra that goes up that way so I was forced to drive. The open bar I proceeded to go to made up for the long drive. I feel like I just can't catch a break lately. I really need money and I'm pissed off that some people owe me money but I'm not getting it yet. Like I'm supposed to get a check for some writing but they sent it to my old address so who knows when I'll get it. And another editor owes me a little money but won't give it to me until around Christmas. Grr. And today my temp agency called with a three day assignment which paid well only to call back a minute later saying the job had been canceled. Damn. I applied for a couple of part time seasonal type jobs so we'll see. I just want to be able to get by with my freelancing and such but it's not enough. I wish Time Out would hire me on but since I was irresponsible with their CTA card and because there doesn't seem to be many openings right now, who knows. I'm trying my best there but I always feel like I could do more. I'm so hard on myself. I just don't want any missteps and I want to prove to them they can't live without me. I feel like it should be this easy but maybe it isn't. I feel like I've paid my dues enough. Part of me just wants to sell out and get some nice, cushy corporate job so at least I wouldn't have to worry about money but I know that'd make me insanely unhappy and I just couldn't do it. I'm tired of being a "struggling artist" though. Something has got to give. This can't be it. How much longer do I have to wait? I'm trying to pitch more ideas to publications and expand my repertoire. I think I am starting to make a slight name for myself but like I said before, it's not enough. I guess I have to keep trying and keep doing a good job. I don't know.

I think I'm also beginning to burn out a little. I'm so looking forward to T-giving break next week. I need a few days off where I feel it's okay to do nothing because even when I have down time, I feel as if I should be productive. It'll be good to see my friends and family for a few days. I need that right now. I'm also looking forward to a My Open Bar event going on Tues. 27th. We are having a three hour free bar with food and gift bags. The bags will be the coolest and we're in the process of finding bars/restaurants/shops to give us coupons and free stuff. I'm helping out with this. We just got biz cards so it makes us look more reputable. This isn't the first time I've had biz cards but the first time I had them through a company. Moving up in the world. So whenever someone asks me, "What's this My Open Bar, thing?" I can shove a card in their face.

Other things that are annoying me:
The fact our cable bill is over $150 a month. I seriously can live without cable. It's ridiculous. I wish we'd cancel it.

The fact my roommates are so messy. I mean, I'm not an ideal roomie by any means, but I also don't leave food out on the counters for days. One day I completely cleaned the kitchen only to have one roommate come along and mess it up within 20 minutes. And this same roommate will shave and live his hair trimmings all over the sink. Ick. It's times like these I wish I lived alone.

I want to know why a battery hasn't been invented where you don't have to charge it. Like why should we still have to charge cell phones and Ipods? Why can't they just last forever?

The weather has been unseasonably warm until today. It'll be really warm in the morning but then get drastically cold at night. I know it's gonna start snowing soon. Yuck.

Things that have me somewhat content this week:

The new season of Project Runway. I like that it's a creative based show and that the contestants aren't all 20 year olds. I like how there's a Chicago contestant. Go, Steve!

When I get emails from a certain someone it makes my day.

I'm going to see Juliette Lewis' band play tomorrow know. You know, Juliette Lewis the actress from Cape Fear, Natural Born Killers, etc. It should be interesting to say the least.

There is also a book based on me.

I think I've complained enough. Time for a reversal of fortune.