Come Together

The weekend is over again and it'll be another hectic week as usual. I'm at the point where I just want to do nothing, or just hang out and having fun. I want to sit around and watch movies and read books and not stress and worry about everything so much, especially money. I wish I could be one of those people who can afford to buy people a round of drinks in a bar or buy substantial groceries without worrying about it chipping away at my funds or take a year off and travel around the world. I wish I could pay off my debt and be financial stable. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm just destined to be poor the rest of my life. I really need to hit pay dirt. The thing about money is even when you have it, it goes fast. There's always something. I just would like to be a little more comfortable. I'm tired of the struggling and I just want to find a job that I actually look forward to going to everyday. I just want to be successful and accomplished and be the best at what I do. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving so I can go home for a few days and put my worries aside for a spell. I think I could use a break.

The weekend was okay. Friday night I played a drinking game with my roommate which resulted in going to some weird party which resulted in me feeling really worn out the next day. Saturday night I went out with some friends to the same bar as last Saturday. I think I just wasn't feeling as good as the previous Saturday. I'm glad I know so many great people, though. Good friends make things better. Of course there were a couple of other strange things that occurred this weekend, but I will not mention them. Today we had another Twin Peaks marathon. I'm glad I've turned others onto such an amazing show. We get together, watch a few episodes and eat and drink good stuff. There are like 10 more episodes to go, so these get-togethers will probably be ongoing for a while. Today was the perfect fall day to do this especially since it was warmer than it's been. I still hate it getting dark so early.

I'm becoming more and more skeptical about relationships. They simply don't work. Like today my friend emailed me saying her boyfriend of over a month broke up with her over email. How impersonal! They had been here a couple of weekends ago and everything seemed fine. And my roommate told me a story how his friend's girlfriend just got up and left one day without saying goodbye. They were pretty serious, too. How does this stuff happen? It makes me really nervous. It's like you'll be happy with someone and everything will be fine, then one day it all falls apart. I of course know all about this, but it still doesn't make things easier. I can see why people remain unattached. There are no answers to how people function or dysfunction. I'll never understand.

I'm hoping this week will be better than last. I keep hoping I can get things together by the end of the year. That'd be nice. Figure something out. Figure out how to get what I want or what I think I want. On Tuesday I'm supposed to go up to Lake Forest for a temp job. It's supposed to pay $20-25 an hour which would be so great right now. The only problem is I have to drive up there and I think it takes half an hour without traffic. Great. A little trivia about the suburb of Lake Forest: both Vince Vaughn and Andrew Bird went to high school there. The Academy Award winning movie Ordinary People took place and was shot there. Doesn't sound too bad to me. I also want to go to a couple of shows this coming week. I didn't go to any this week. I also want to hang out with some people I haven't seen in a while. Maybe I should make some new friends. Right now I feel so scattered and uncertain and I hate feeling this way. I need things to connect and come together somehow. I just wish I knew what to do with my life.