Save Me

On Monday, Time Out laid off a bunch of employees because there isn't enough ad revenue being generating. It was a rough day seeing people you like get canned. I think every place I've ever worked someone's gotten laid off. The whole thing genuinely upset me because I feel so futile. I had a discussion with my boss today and things look grim. So unless ad sales pick up or someone jumps ship (which could happen), I'm screwed. They are going to bring on more interns and hopefully make me exclusively the music intern (which would be totally rad), but everything is up in air. I really think we're headed for a recession. I know other companies who are laying people off. Not a good sign. The publishing industry is struggling, too. Print is dying. I should've picked a different industry like dentistry. There's always a need for dentists, right? At least on Monday there was free tequila and absinthe and free food to assuage my stress. I don't like absinthe much. It takes like licorice and it doesn't make me hallucinate.

Next week I start my temp job and I'm not looking forward to it. It'll mean taking a hiatus from my internship and I don't want to do that. Maybe I can talk the place into being slightly flexible. I don't know. I just know I can't/and won't go three weeks without interning. It's not a good thing for me right now. I need to be here in case something opens up. I hate this sense of uncertainty. I just know I have to keep at it. I need to start pitching some ideas and continue to be proactive. But right now I just feel like crying. Maybe I should move away. Move to where there's more opportunity.

On top of the stressful week I've already had, I'm completely exhausted. When will I ever learn to go to sleep before 2am? And my computer is acting up. And my cell phone battery is acting up. Bitch, bitch, bitch. It's only Wednesday and my week isn't even half over. I have so much writing to do. Tomorrow I have to go in for training for my temp job. I have other stuff I should get done, too. I'm going to a couple of concerts this weekend which will hopefully straighten out my mood. I also keep wondering why do I want things/people I can't have? Why are certain things so unobtainable? It's frustrating. On the bright side (literally), it's sorta nice outside. The sun is shining through the dreary winter. Things could always be worse. Then again, things could always be better.