The Winter Blues

I think I may be suffering from the winter blues or that seasonal depression thing. It's not because of winter in general, it's because I had a pretty bad week this week. So my car got towed and then on Thursday I got "let go" from my brand new temp job. I didn't even like the job but I was looking forward to actually having money for once and digging myself out of this financial hole I've been in for the past couple of months. I did work hard there but it sucked I wasn't allowed 'net access. I can't be without my email all day. But, whatever. I don't think it's possible for me to work a full-time job right now either. It was killing me balancing the internship and that. Luckily I got a call about a part time gig so I'm waiting to hear back. Hopefully it'll be more manageable. The good thing is I can continue my internship more this week. I really need to focus on that anyway. I'd give anything to make a living as a music journalist. Seriously, writing and Time Out are the only things I'm good at. Every job I've had since I've moved to Chicago has sucked so much. I'm just not good at holding down jobs I hate. I simply can't do something non-creative all day long. I'm hoping things will get better. I mean, they have to right? At least I didn't have as bad a week as my friend who got mugged a block from her house and then fell on ice and not only re-sprained her ankle but injured her tail bone.

When things are bad for me, I start to think about moving again. I mean, who in their right mind would ever want to struggle through a Chicago winter? It's so brutal. It snowed for five days straight and although snow is pretty, having it blown all over your face gets annoying. I don't know if I should move or not. I should go somewhere warmer and music centric like Austin or Nashville. Or maybe I just need to escape Chicago for a few days. I wish I could still go to that wedding. CA sounds nice right about now.

My weekend was alright. Friday night I went to a couple of bars with my friend and met a 22 year old Jake Gyllenhaal look alike visiting from Detroit. We may or may not hang out before he leaves. I rarely speak to strangers in bars but for some reason I started talking to him. Last night I saw Girl Talk in concert. It was over an hour nonstop dance party. It was fun for the most part and it helped my mood a little, but not much. I just feel so blah about everything right now. I think I need some alone time for a couple of days. Some peace and quiet. Maybe that'll help. Sometimes my life is too much for me especially dealing with the people in them. I watched the movie "Zodiac" about the serial killer in San Fran in the 60s-70s. They never arrested the guy. Pretty good movie.

Anyway, I hope this coming week will be much better. My horoscope for the week said: "The miracle is in the mess." God, I hope so. I'm waiting for something good to come from all these setbacks.