Why Can't I?

So far, this has been shaping up to be a busy week musically. Thursday I'm interviewing one of my fave bands Hot Chip for the cover story of a local publication. I'm a huge fan but I'm not sure what I'll talk to them about. Friday I'm going to see one of my all time fave bands, the Magnetic Fields in concert. The show has been sold out for months but I luckily got on the list. I've never seen them live before and I just found out the lead singer is going deaf, so I hope the show will be beyond my expectations. Next week I'm seeing the Raveonettes which I know will be cool. I think the next three months will definitely be great for shows. There hasn't been that much good recently. Today my first (and hopefully not last) paid article came out in Time Out. It's exciting I suppose, but I won't even be paid for a few weeks. I hope I can do more paid freelancing for them and other publications. I keep thinking about what to do with my life. This writing for living thing may not come into fruition (duh) so I need a backup plan. I want to work in music PR but even that doesn't offer a lot of stability. Record labels keep laying people off. In fact, I've had 2 non-industry friends lose their jobs in the past few weeks. Hello, recession. I'm just beside myself of what path to take because doors are constantly slammed in my face. I wish I was Tina Fey on "30 Rock." Here is a smart, independent woman with her own career, her own apartment, living in New York with success and money. That's what I thought my life would be like at 30. But, no, I'm in the process of applying for food stamps. Seriously. I guess things never work out the way they do on sitcoms, but why can't they? Why in the hell can't I be Liz Lemon? Except with a better love life. I suppose the only answer I can find is marry a rich lawyer. I seriously think I'm destined to end up with a lawyer. The universe is in favor of this. At least of late.

Bad things keep happening to my friends, too. One of my friend's just lost her job today and that comes from a winter filled with a stalker, a mugger and falling down a lot. My other friend not only lost his job but his creative endeavors are going down the drain, too. I suppose it could always be worse. I don't know if Chicago is a magnet for bad things to happen....god knows I've had my share of catastrophes here, but I don't want people to move away because Chicago is sometimes a hard place to live. Soon we'll have the highest sales tax of any city. Yippee. I wish I had some answers. I guess I have to keep plugging along and trying. I really need my own place. As my friend keeps instilling in me, my goal should be to find an awesome job and then get my own digs. I simply can't live with people anymore. I need a quiet and clean sanctuary without noisy girlfriends running around.

Today I received some hate mail, which was funny. I wrote something about a band and they apparently were offended because they didn't like what I wrote about them. They're like: "the writer should apologize." Anyway, I sent them an email apologizing. In my opinion, any reaction is a good reaction. It's causing a stir. Most of the time I receive nice emails from artists and bands complimenting me on the articles I write on them, so you can't please everyone. All I want to do is isolate myself and read books and watch movies and listen to good music. Sometimes I can't cope with my life although I shouldn't complain too much because I am sorta privileged with all the free-bees. I need to start looking into other opportunities and connections and using the resources I do have more efficiently. Something has to give, right? Thursday I'm seeing my friend's play again and this weekend I got some parties and such going on. At least I have some good, positive things to look forward to. And the weather is getting nicer, although Daylight Savings Time is messing me up.