Death and Taxes

So, it's technically the 15th and my taxes aren't done yet. In fact, I have to file an extension. Supposedly my 1099 is on the way, but until I get that, I can't file. Goddamnit. I had no idea I worked for such a shady company last year. Nothing like waiting to the last minute to send it to me. I'm probably going to have to owe again as usual. This sucks. And with all of my back taxes, the $600 stimulus isn't even worth it. I'm simply destined to be poor forever. Either that or marry a rich man. I think that's the only way I'll ever get ahead at this point.

I really need to quit complaining about everything. My negative energy is dragging me down. For once it's actually nice outside. Right now I just feel blah about everything. I feel underappreciated and tired and annoyed with everything. Instead of trying to fix my issues, I've chosen to dwell on them. I should be more proactive about some things. My friend and I decided today that for the next week, no negative talk about anything, especially boys. This may be difficult, but I'm going to attempt to do it. I just feel so unbalanced most of the time. I'm constantly stressed and worried about my life that I can't even enjoy the little things, and believe me, I want to. If only I could get some things straightened out (like my finances), then maybe I could breathe easier. I think I should start exercising, too. As much as I hate jogging, I need to get into shape. I feel bloated all the time. I need to eat healthier, too, but eating healthy is expensive.

So, let's focus on the positive. Today I interviewed the band Tokyo Police Club. The more I listen to them, the more I like them. They are from Canada. I've been interviewing a couple of international bands lately, which is cool. I was only allotted 16 minutes to talk to them. I wish it could've been longer. I have to write that up along with some other assignments. My life is full of weekly deadlines. I haven't decided if this is good or not. Just more work to do.

Over the weekend, I went to a concert Friday night and then Saturday did absolutely nothing. I think sometimes I just need quiet. I need to stay in, listen to music, watch movies, by myself. Sometimes my life feels so overwhelming. I don't sleep enough, I stay up late, I have social and work obligations. Sometimes it's nice to sit and just be. But at the same time I felt unproductive and didn't get much done. I need to re-educate myself on grammar and find time to read actual books. I've been downloading a ton of new music lately. Most of it's been really good, too.

I know I said before chivalry is dead but maybe not completely. I did convince a guy to buy me food and a drink Sunday night, willingly. I do think most guys only want a girl for sex and this annoys me to no end. I also think most guys are douchebags. Like maybe 98% of them. I understand getting drunk and horny--and women definitely fall into this category--but it's mainly men, in my opinion. I wish relationships would be less about sex and more about other things like connection and conversation and dining out. But like I said above, I'm not going to let myself get down about this stuff or analyze it to death. It is what it is.

I'm looking forward to next week because it's Fashion Week in Chicago and My Open Bar is getting press passes which means we get to attend all the cocktail receptions. Artropolis also begins next week. I got a press pass and went last year. The opening reception night was the best. Oh, and the art was pretty awesome, too. Next week will also mark my one-year anniversary of being homeless (for the second time in Chicago). I should celebrate for surviving it.