Ask for It

Today I had a discussion with my editor at Time Out and we decided my internship will officially be over at the end of the month. I will be sad to leave, but I've almost been there for a year and it's really time to move on. It's like graduation or something. The good thing is I'll get paid for everything I write from here on out and hopefully will be able to do more music articles like live reviews. Of course there's no guarantee the work will be steady, but it's better than nothing. I'm also hoping I can finagle some sweet Pitchfork and Lolla passes from them. I've made some pretty important contacts there which I'm hoping will lead me in the right direction. Now the clock is ticking.

Last night I had a dream I went to Switzerland. I don't know why Switzerland of all places (I do know someone from there). In the dream, I was in awe of the place. There was snow and rolling hills and I kept thinking, "I can't wait to tell everyone I went to Switzerland!" Oddly enough, my friend asked me today when I'm going to France. Every once in a while he asks me and my response is usually "when I have the money which probably will be never." I wish I could get another credit card and throw it all on there. Sigh. I really need to do something with my life. I was also thinking about this today. I mean, I'm always thinking about it, but today it struck me, "what the hell am I doing with my life?" Am I just going to work stupid jobs, write about bars and drink myself to death? Nope. Then what? I want to write fiction and books, but I don't have the time nor energy nor means to get stuff published. I don't want to live an average existence. I wish I could settle down on the beach and live my life there. I'd get up everyday, swim in the ocean, maybe sell coconuts and live in peace. The idyllic life that really doesn't exist. Instead, I will probably work for the next 40 years and never find a decent guy. At least that's the way things are going. Such is life.

I know I vent about guys a lot on here and I really shouldn't, but I need to express myself sometimes. Some people I know think that me writing about certain guys will deter them even more, but they really need to know what dogs they are. All of them. Every single guy is a total fucking dog. At first some might not seem like a canine, but really, they are dogs in disguise. Give it time and their dogdom will surface. I also use this blog as a way to connect to the jilted women out there, those that have to deal with these dogs. All the time I have friends and even strangers telling me what I write is so relatable. This is for you, girls!

So, some other things of note: I got a new cellphone which I'm sorta obsessed with now. My friend gave me his old one and I'm still figuring out how to work it. The technology is so advanced on it, I can't even do phone interviews on it. Whenever I have to do an interview, I have to get online and switch to my old phone. I need to find some compatible equipment for it. A couple of days ago, I discovered there's an El Pollo Loco here in Chicago. They're all over L.A and when I lived there, I went all the time. It's one of the things I missed about L.A--until now. I was stunned when I came across it on Monday. They have cheap and really good burritos that are a step up from Taco Bell. Plus they have an excellent salsa bar. I will be going back regularly.

In the next few days, I hope to be busy. Tonight I'm going to Soul night at a bar. Gonna dance to some good 'ol soul music. Thursday my friend is dragging me to see Wicked. Friday is a launch party for a book project I participated in and another open bar. This weekend is Blues fest and another fest with good bands. I'm interviewing a band I really like, Ladytron tomorrow. I have a bunch of writing to do, too. I'm glad that a couple of my friends who were M.I.A are back. I need them around. I need to spend more time with certain people especially new people.

I finally saw the Sex and the City movie. I downloaded a poor quality copy online. It goes in and out of focus, but I was still able to follow it. Overall, I liked it, but a lot of it was unrealistic. Not to spoil the plot, but it ends happily. It gives me hope, I guess. It focused more on these women in their 40s and their relationships instead of casual sex. The theme of the movie is finding love, not getting laid. I don't want to deal with relationships anymore. They're too frustrating and fickle. I need to find a guy who'll worship me and appreciate me...all the time. And someone to spend a ton of money on me, willingly. If you are out there, kind sir, contact me. But, you must have good taste, be somewhat attractive and extremely smart. You don't even have to live in Chicago. Overseas is totally fine. In fact, that's better.

I think what I've learned most lately is to ask for what you want both in jobs and relationships. It's always better to know where you stand and voice to others what you need and want. You might not always get what you want, but at least the ideas are out there. Putting the ideas in motion is another thing, though.