Catching Up

Over the weekend, I finally got a chance to catch up with some neglected friends. Sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed with all the social activities going on that I simply decide to do nothing. Friday night, I fought off going to a concert and party and stayed in. Even going to concerts takes motivation for me these days. It's not enough for them to be free--it has to be a band I really want to see or I probably won't go. There are a ton of shows that I really want to see coming up, so hopefully I'll force myself to go.

Saturday, things didn't start off well. I tried to go to my post office box to get my mail and made a costly mistake. I was trying to find the place and ended up parking in the adjacent lot thinking I'll just leave for a second. No biggie. Well, during the entire minute it took me to walk to the next lot, realize the post office was closed, then walk back to my car, someone had placed a boot on my car. Yup. It happens that fast. I know there are signs that say if you leave the lot, you'll get in trouble, but I never thought people monitor it that closely. I mean, I was only gone for a minute! As soon as I stepped off the lot, I thought that maybe I should've moved my car, but I decided against it. Anyway, I had to pay $115 to get it removed. Ridic. I really want to get rid of my car. Having in a car in the city has been nothing but a pain in the ass. I know it's partially my fault because I don't always read signs clearly, but still...why does the city have to punish us drivers? Whatever. I learned my lesson, and as usual, the hard way.

Saturday night, the boyfriend and I went on a double date. I can't remember the last time I went on a double date. How cliche. Sometimes I feel like double dates are like a competition between myself and the other couple, like who has the better relationship, who has the better boyfriend, which couple is more affectionate, etc. This was the first time meeting my friend's new guy, but it went well. Then, Saturday night we went to a party. I realize if I have to actually leave my 'hood or go somewhere not in walking distance, I'm more than likely not to go out. The party was alright especially the Akita puppy there. It's only 11 weeks old, but it's already huge. And it was cute and fuzzy and soft. I really want to get a bunch of pets but I know someday they'll just end up with my mom. Yesterday, we played our Saucony championship and won. It wasn't hard considering only half the teams showed up. My friend made a great comment stating for a bunch of drunks, our team always showed up unlike the others. We played silly games like egg toss, wheelbarrow race, three legged race and tug of war. It was a perfect day, too--sunny but not too hot. Afterwards, we had an open bar. They were supposed to have a lot of food but instead had very little food. Drinking on a practically empty stomach is never a good idea. And the bar was out of bloody Mary mix. What kind of bar runs out of mix on a Sunday? After drinking for a while, I went home and went to sleep by 8pm. I can't remember the last time I went to bed while it was still daylight out.

Today, it's been raining all day again which depresses me. I'm really stressed about a lot of things now. I need to find another job or at least find a job that I can tolerate and somewhat enjoy. I'm always torn between holding out and finding something I love and working a shitty job just for the money. I need to still go to the laundromat and write a lot more, but sometimes I'm just too lazy. I still need to get all my car crap taken care of. This Saturday is my bday party and I still need to decide what bar to go to. Then a week from today it's my official bday. I'm not sure what I really want for my bday. I could always use clothes and shoes...traveling would be nice...jewelry? Just material stuff, I guess. I just feel so anxious all the time. I just feel like there's so much stuff to do but I don't know how I'm ever going to get any of it done. I keep thinking where should I focus my energies? On writing? Or getting some stupid job that'll pay the bills but will inevitably suck the life out of me? I'm happiest when I'm writing. Maybe I should get a personal assistant. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and have everything be the way I want things to be because honestly, things aren't the way I want them to be and I don't know how to make things the way I want them to be. I guess I have to hold on and hope things somehow get done and fall into place. But that doesn't stop me from worrying and wanting every little thing in life to be my way.