Tenth Annual Celebration of Being 21

All weekend long, it rained. Non-stop. Right now we're experiencing a respite. I felt like I was living in some sort of disaster movie. I read where we received a record amount of rain: 6.6 inches to be exact. I attribute it to Hurricane Ike, a name that can only do no good. I mean, Ike Turner beat the shit out of Tina, so it makes sense for a hurricane named Ike to do the same thing. Despite the heavy downpours this weekend, I actually left the house.

Friday night, I ventured to a dinner party. The food and company were great. I was supposed to go to a show, but I couldn't fit both in. Later in the evening, I had my annual pre-bday meltdown. I think every year around my bday, I freak out a little about my life. But after my freak out, I felt better. I've decided in my old age, that I need to be better. At everything. I think the older I get, I become more of a space cadet. I fail to read signs and thus get parking violations. I don't follow my instincts enough. I don't accomplish enough things. I blow off social obligations a lot. I just need to be better and wiser. At the same time, I still don't want to grow up.

Everyone says your life gets better in your 30s, but I have yet to discover what they mean. At 31, I still don't feel like a true adult. I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life and what I really want to be when I grow up. I still haven't been to France with no signs of going soon. Maybe I should really quit being so pessimistic. Despite not feeling like an adult, I do feel mature in other areas. If someone told me this time last year that I'd have a boyfriend, I would've laughed. I've settled down a lot in the past few months and it feels good to be with someone again. The other day, I put new license plates on my car and purchased new car insurance all on my own. It's the little things that build you up. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be an editor and that's going to be a whole new ball game for me. I might not have my own place yet or a steady job or a lot of money, but there are so many other things I have going for me, I guess. Like women typically reach their sexual peaks around their early 30s. And I usually do meet every goal I set for myself, even if it's fleeting.

Maybe being 30 doesn't count. Maybe being 31 is when all the good stuff begins. I'll report back in a year. The biggest victory for me would be to have financial stability and I job I actually liked. I have all sort of freelance gigs I like, but a part time steady job would be grand. And to travel everywhere. I wish I was independently wealthy. I guess one thing I can say about my life, is it's never dull. It's always changing as are the people in my life and situations. There's no time for me to grow complacent. Last night, I had a bday gathering. I think the rain staved off a lot of people, so maybe about 15 people showed up all together. Plus another girl was having a party too, so friends were split up between the two shindigs. We all hung out at a bar and drank for a few hours. Everyone kept buying me drinks, which was nice. People slowly came and went all night. Last night was such a contrast from last year's festivities. Whereas last year was crazy and drama filled, this year was pretty chill. And maybe that's another sign of my maturity. I think the older I get, the more I appreciate the people in my life because friendships are so fucking fleeting and people move around a lot. There were some repeat friends this year from my party last year, but there are a few people I don't even talk to anymore from last year. I guess your true friends stick by you year after year. Consistency is what matter. There were some new faces mixed with older faces, and faces that I've grown more accustomed to in the past year. And there were a lot of couples, too. But, I forgot to take pictures. Actually, no one took pictures for some reason. I'll have to document it in my mind.

So, tomorrow's my actual bday, but I don't have any real plans. I discovered on Saturday there's a Gap outlet in town and my mom happened to send me a Gap gift card, so I splurged. A friend gave me a H&M gift card, so I'll probably use that up, too. Tuesday night the boyfriend is taking me out to dinner and then Wed. I get to see one of my fave bands in concert: Cut Copy. I have some assignments to work on this week. In the next couple of weeks, I'll hopefully be busy going to shows. I've been such a slacker with going to them but I'll try to make up for it in the weeks ahead. And I'm going to do better at meeting social obligations. And I'm going to read, write and watch more movies. Yeah, hopefully 31 will be my year. I just have to try harder.