In the Hallows

This past weekend I celebrated Halloween. It was surprisingly warm out all weekend, amazing considering how cold it was earlier in the week. I remember one Halloween it snowed. I do love Halloween, but not as much as I did when I was younger. I used to get into the holiday by carving pumpkins and concocting a good costume, etc. Now, I don't really put much thought into anything. I really should because there are a lot of costume contests where you can win big money. If I was smart, I'd make the best costume ever and reap the rewards. I do love admiring everyone else's costumes, though. Those people who are much more cleaver than me. This weekend I saw some good ones: a guy dressed up as Asian hot sauce. A guy dressed up as a piece of toast. Some semi-naked guy wearing a thong exposing his ass all night. There were some Sarah Palins and Jokers in Nurse's costumes. There was a slew of the slutty varieties of nurses, cats, etc. I'm not sure exactly what my costume was. I started out as a vampiress, but the more I looked at myself, the more I realized I looked like a dead hooker. So, that's what I was--a dead hooker. The boyfriend strapped on some bunny ears and put some makeup on and went as a vampire bunny. You see a theme developing here between us. We like dead things. Friday night we went to a pseudo-mansion party and had free booze and food for a couple of hours. It was a decent party and we didn't have to wait in any lines. Then we went to a loft party in an undisclosed location. There were some good costumes there and overall the party was just okay. I witnessed a couple of drunkards vomiting into a bucket. Fun. And I had to wait over a half hour to use the bathroom. I hate that shit. Last night we got dressed up again and went to another party. We didn't stay as long as I would've liked. Sometimes at parties I just don't stay very long. I like that Halloween fell on a weekend this year. It gives you a chance to party for two nights.

Now it's November and everything feels anti-climatic. Well, after Tuesday it'll feel anti-climatic. Once Obama is elected, everything can go back to normal. I'm interested to see if he's gonna win. There's going to be a huge rally here on Tuesday night. I think I'll stay as far away from that as possible. Soon, the holidaze will be here and then another new year will begin. I don't understand how time can just whiz on by. Another year gone.

I know in my previous post I talked about the state of my relationships but nothing is ever perfect. I really worry about the future of my relationship. There are always going to be challenges and obstacles to surmount and you just never know what's going to happen. The thing is, I like to have the upper hand. I like to be the one in control and calling the shots. I have this attitude it's better to push the person away before they push me away. This usually involves me testing the person a little. I think relationships are just really fragile and you have to live in the moment and not think too much about the future, although eventually you will have to. I'm also a strong believer in if a relationship doesn't work out, then it's not meant to be. I think I'm doing better at relationships and I suppose if this one doesn't work out, I will consider it a step up from my last relationship but know that somewhere down the line I'll meet someone even better. Unless of course I'm meant to be a serial monogamist and go from one failed relationship to the next (I surely hope not). But, I don't want to think about that stuff. It's funny because I consider myself a pretty pessimistic person, but when it comes to relationships, I consider myself to be optimistic. I don't know why. I guess at some point I believe something has to work out. Or maybe I'm just destined to be a 40 year old spinster. I dunno. And yeah, I do believe all things eventually end, but it could end tomorrow or 20 years from now. You just have to take things day by day.

I'm still hoping for my happy ending. Doesn't everyone get a chance at one?