The New Year

(This is a picture from the movie When Harry Met Sally. It has one of my fave NYE scenes in it.)

It is officially New Year's Eve 2008 and yet another year is about to expire. I use to freak out at the end of the year about everything, especially what I hadn't accomplished. Since I'm older, I don't panic as much as I use to because there's nothing you can do about time passing by. Tonight will be my fourth NYE in Chicago and I must say, I'm not expecting much. Sometimes I wish I could have an old fashioned NYE, like get all dressed up, go to some swanky ball, and dance the night away to Sinatra. Chicago offers lakefront NYE dinner cruises, but they are expensive and I don't want to ring in the new year with strangers. NYE just seems like another going out night -- nothing special really. Tonight I'm probably going to a dinner party and then a couple of other parties. Like I said, nothing special. 

It's been quite a year. I must say, 2008 will go down as one of the most unexpected years in my life. I never thought in a million years that I'd find love again, or become an editor, or go to New England, yet these are all things I wanted at some point in my life. It's definitely been a strange and interesting year. 

I had a hunch that maybe 2008 would be my year when I woke up on New Year's Day with a certain someone. Even though things didn't last, it gave me a sense of optimism that lasted maybe 48 hours then quickly wore off. But it was that incident that propelled me to think maybe, just maybe, I'd get it right in the relationship front this year. I remember talking to my then single girlfriend about how we deserve better and how 2008 should be all about "girl power." Well, I guess it worked because we both ended up finding right guys this year. In fact, I know quite a few people who stumbled into relationships this year. I have one friend who recently got engaged. Maybe there are some good men left in this world. 

Sometimes it's still strange for me to think I have a serious boyfriend, especially with all the bullshit and douchery I had to trudge through in the past two years of singledom. Some of it was fun, but most of it ended in disappointment. If I'm never single again, I think I will be happy. It's just too hard out there. And it's even stranger to think that the boyfriend and I ended up together considering he was never really an option. We did spend last NYE together and I believe at one point we did kiss, but I didn't think much of it. It's sorta nice knowing in advance who you'll go home with after the stroke of midnight. I take a lot of comfort in that. So, I think the biggest change for me this year (and probably the best thing to happen) was finally getting together with the boyfriend. In hindsight, it just made a lot of sense. The more I think about it, it didn't come out of nowhere. It had been bubbling for quite some time. Even though we're happy, I still worry about the year ahead. I keep analyzing everything to death. I just hope we get to travel the world together and that things will keep progressing for us. 

Another big thing that happened was me becoming editor in chief of Myopenbar. This was another thing I didn't see coming. There were definitely times when I still a writer that I thought about quitting because I felt I wasn't getting enough out of it. But when the opportunity arose for me to advance, I tentatively grabbed the reins. And I'm glad I did. The past few months have been quite an adventure and adjustment, but every week I get a lot of satisfaction in putting something together. I really hope in the new year, MOB grows and expands and makes everyone a lot of money and brings a lot of drunks happiness. 

Also this year, I finally secured my own apartment. Well, as close to having my own place as I can get right now. Thankfully, I moved away from those dirty boys and found a cheap pad to rent. For the next few months, it'll be my place (even though I'm still worried I'm going to die from carbon monoxide poisoning). I just hope the boyfriend and I can live together harmoniously. I'm also going to start cooking more. For Xmas, my mom gave me a cooking scrapbook filled with all of her fave recipes. I think I owe it to the boyfriend to at least try to cook some new things. My kitchen is small and there isn't a lot of counter space, so we'll see how that goes. 

This year I feel a lot of seeds were planted. I remember back in January, the year didn't get off to a great start. It was snowy and cold, and my car got towed, and I was the most broke I'd ever been in my life. I constantly had a negative balance in my account. I'm not sure how I managed to get by, but I did. I definitely learned how to be resourceful and to value money. I hope I'm never that broke again. It surely didn't help that I was interning for free. That's what did me in. But even though January was a bleak month, I still went out a lot with my friends, and wrote a lot. Like I said, the early months of the year I subconsciously planted seeds that bloomed in the spring and fall. 

So now the goal is to keep those blossoms growing in 2009...to keep love alive, to stabilize the finances, to write for even more publications--especially more high-profile ones, and just simply keep going and improving. In the new year, I hope to travel the world. I've been saying this for a while, but I really think I will get out of the country. Hopefully sooner than later. I really need to. And this year I promise to read books and write fiction and try to work out and eat healthy and take care of myself. And to somehow make a decent living doing what I love by not having to compromise or sacrifice a lot, especially my dignity. 

Besides all the good things that happened this year, there were some more sober events. Two of my best friends left Chicago. I really miss them and wonder when/if I'll ever see them again. When they moved, they took a certain essence with them. Chicago hasn't been quite the same. Then again, it keeps me out of trouble. Other things that happened this year: finally reconnecting with my long, lost cousin, getting paid to go to Lolla, seeing New England, etc, etc.

But most of all, in 2009 I really hope all my loved ones will somehow be okay. I wish the best for everyone.