Memory Lane

Over the weekend, I went home to OH. My mom sold my childhood home and wanted me to take a bunch of my stuff back to Chicago. I really hate the idea of owning a lot of stuff, so that's why it's been nice to have stored it in her house. I much rather live like a gypsy than own furniture and stuff. I went home and rummaged through 31 years of memories. I kept asking myself why I kept some of my crap for so long. I guess the older I get, the more I want to shed my material possessions. Less is better. But I worry someday I'll regret tossing out some of my treasures. It's interesting to see how much I've changed in the past few years. I ended up throwing away all of my old movie posters. I guess I thought one day I'd frame them and hang them up in my mansion, but that's never going to happen. Besides, I don't really need an American Pie poster anymore. I used to be such a pack rat. I found about a hundred greeting cards I'd received over the years, including one from my orthodontist. I mean, why did I save that? It made me really sad to go through all of my old stuff, especially sifting through letters my dad wrote me and pictures I took on vacation. I have boxes of photos of cats and California. It's weird to think most of my adolescence was spent with kitties and on the ocean but now both are seriously lacking from my life (sure, I live within mile of a lake, but that's so different than an ocean). I'm just amazed how fast time goes. It seems like yesterday I was living in L.A or in high school. Now it's been exactly five years since I moved to Chicago. I never imagined I'd last this long and I keep wondering how much longer I'll stay here. Someday when I'm bored, I'd love to scan some of my old photos and post them on Facebook. A lot of my old friends are on there, so it'd be fun to mortify them. I also found old drawings, paintings and scripts of mine. Why don't I ever draw anymore? I was pretty good. I guess when you reach a certain age, you out grow some things.

At least it's finally summer. I want to make the most of it. There's so many things/places I want to do, I don't know where to start. I want to go to the beach, the pool, The Modern Wing, MI for a weekend, the Dunes, NY, CA, KY, Nashville, see movies and bands in the park, go to Pitchfork Fest and Lolla, drink cocktails al fresco, read books, write short stories etc, etc. I hope I at least accomplish some of these activities.

Last week I was inundated with a big project. I had to write 50, 180 character blurbs about various bars and restaurants in Chicago. It was harder than I thought, especially since I'd never been to most of the places I had to write about. But, it was a good challenge and education for me, and I'll get paid for it. I also got that warehouse job, so I'm starting it in a week. Unfortunately my shift starts at 7am, so that's going to be a little rough on me. Hopefully it'll be something cool and tolerable.

I was thinking today how I'm probably going to be a wayward soul for the rest of my life. I can see myself just drifting from job to job, gig to gig the rest of my life, never finding a permanent, stable job. And you know what? I'm okay with that -- just as long as I can get by. It sure beats the alternative. Maybe I'm just not cut out for a lot of stability. In the past, the universe has forced me to live my life on a whim. This taught me that I can't always be in control. Of course I'd much rather know what's going to happen in the future, I also know whatever comes my way, I'll be able to adapt quickly. I think I'm destined to be a free spirit/non-conformist for a while longer.