Meh.

So, I wouldn't necessarily say things have gotten better, they've just leveled out a bit. I realized things are simply okay. They could be much worse. They also could be a helluva a lot better. Yesterday, my work moved into new offices. I must say, I really like the new digs. It's a big loft with lots of light streaming through the windows. I'm thinking, I could live in a place like this. Maybe I'll move in. After all, there is a shower in the bathroom...hmmm...I don't detest my job, I mean, I shouldn't complain because I can wear whatever I want to work, last Friday the company took us out for a fancy French dinner, I only work with ten people and half the time most of them are out of the office, music blasts all day long, and yesterday waiting to move, we played Scrabble. Not bad at all. Of course right now, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin working on a project. It's harder than it should be. Job is okay but could be better. The weather is finally perking up a bit, although it's still jacket weather. I hope it gets warm and stays warm. That'll help my mood a little. I think.

Yesterday a friend asked me if I regret anything. I thought about it and realize I don't. There are things I'd definitely do differently. There are things I will probably regret if I never accomplish them. Since then, the word regret keeps coming up. On the train this morning, I peered at someone's book and the chapter was named Regret. At work earlier, someone was blasting the New Order song "Regret." Is the universe trying to tell me something? At this point my only regret would be not moving to NY. I go back and forth with the idea of it, but the past couple of days I've been thinking about it more. What would I have to lose? I don't know. It just seems like the place to be. I can't go quite yet, though. I guess I feel as if everything is better in NY. Maybe or maybe not. I'll have to discover it for myself. Sometimes I think I don't have it so bad. This week I had 4 different articles published in various local and internet publications. This is great exposure for me, but I wish I'd get a shitload of money for it. I suppose my life is a little more interesting than some people I know. Last week I talked to a couple of friends who lamented: "my life is boring." At least I can say my life isn't boring. Most of the time. I lived in LA for 5 yrs and that was definitely exciting, but also overwhelming. Not many people can say they've bought Drew Barrymore beer like I have. I do go to a lot of FREE shows and interview bands, so it's not all bad. At the same time, it could be better.

I guess I'm okay with everything in my life, but is it okay to be okay with it? We should always strive for something better because otherwise we'll grow complacent. I need to shake it up a bit, make some drastic changes come the summer. As for travel, this summer I'm going to try to make it to Maryland for a big music fest and visit 2 of my friends there. I hope I can do it. It's also likely I'll be making a trip to NY in August for a bachelorette party. I hope that goes through. Until then, no travel plans, which sucks.

In terms of relationships, I am forgoing flings from now on. I refuse to do this anymore because it leads nowhere. I want something more substantial, something that'll last longer and be fertile in the long run. I will do my best to eschew said flings, but knowing myself, I'll just keep on doing it. I must stop though. I'm done. I've had enought. They've stopped being fun. I just want to be with someone where it isn't so goddamn complicated and vacant. I do have one relationship wish, though. I will keep it to myself. I'm trying on the positive thinking cap for this one. We'll see if it works.

So, yeah. Meh.

Also, the word shuttlecock is a funny word. Tee, he.

New Clientele song. Yah!