Starting Over

Today I am pretty much alone at work. Two of my co-workers are in Austin at SXSW. I am envious of this. I should be there. I don't know why I am not there. I have family I could stay with. I really should attend these events. It lessens my chances of ever meeting Britt Daniel. Maybe next year.

I've decided I need to change some things about my personality. First, I seriously need to quit pissing people off. In the past couple of months I've pissed off an editor at the Onion with my commentary on how much the new Bloc Party album sucks; I've pissed off a now former roommate; I've pissed off a total of three guys with remarks I wrote about them on this blog...who's next? For such a shy gal, I certainly make the pissing-off rounds. From now on, I'm keeping my mouth shut. I also need to overreact less. Sometimes I can be quite a drama queen. Freaking out only exacerbates the situation. I've improved my freaking out skills over the years, but I still need to quit blowing things out of proportion. The thing is, I want everyone to like me, but it doesn't help matters when I expose certain people. I simply hate it when people are mad at me. I'm so afraid of offending people sometimes I really do it. I've always had a tendency to take the hard road in life. You know, there's like a fork in the road. One has a steady, flat path, the other has a rocky path. Everytime I choose the latter. I think it's because I like the challenge--I don't want it to be too easy. But damn, rocks cut you up. Maybe one day I'll learn to take the smooth path, but probably not. I have my own way that's for sure. Currently, I'm picking up the pieces. I'm subscribing to the "when one door closes another one opens" adage. When relationships or a job ends, sometimes when you reflect and look back, you realize it wasn't the end all be all. You wonder why you cared in the first place. There's always something better around the corner. Always. You may not see it at first, but it's there. I'm in that mode right now. Searching for something better. I may or may not have already found it. I really need to skip town for a couple of days. I haven't left Chicago since the end of January. It's time for a sojourn.

It's officially warm outside. Spring is on it's way! The only thing I dislike about the change in seasons is you have to slowly acclimate your wardrobe. Most of my Spring clothes are in Ohio. A new season means buying new clothes. I'm not ready to purchase sandals or tank tops. It's still only March, not May. Speaking of May, it's shaping up to be a stellar month for music. New releases from Maximo Park, the National, Voxtrot, Feist, etc. A ton of concerts are coming here: Arcade Fire, Morrissey, Air....I want to see all of them. I hope I can use my clout to attend these shows.

Without discussion of my love life, I'm sorta at a loss for things to write about. I will talk about my new project, then. I am finally starting my PR venture, Post Punk PR, a year in the making. I'm representing my friend's rap project. We are going to hit all the blogs and try to garner as much press as possible. We are both excited about the possibilities. I don't know much about PR, but I'd like to learn. I hope I can do a good job for him. I want to help bands I believe in get the exposure they need. This is my mission. We'll see how it goes. It'd be weird if it took of and I had to actually set up interviews for the bands. I'm sure I'd be able to handle it, although I don't know how legit I am.

Over the weekend I watched a cheesy documentary called The Secret about positive thinking. It mentions the law of attraction and basically says what you put out there, you get back. If you think negative thoughts, you'll get it back. If you visualize what you want, it'll manifest. Time to switch on the positive thinking and do some affirmations. Here's to moving forward and working out all my quirks. Here's to improving my social skills. Here's to finding a way to bring back peace and harmony. Here's to using more ambiguous nicknames. Here's to me in not being such a monumental fuck up.

***Update: After having conversations with some people, I've decided to continue blogging about what I am passionate about. I am a writer and I started this blog not only for myself, but for others to experience the deeply passionate and emotional being I am. People read it and I want people to know the kind of writer I am. Maybe someday I'll get discovered based on it. I use this blog for professional means as well. But, I will use more discretion on sensitive matters. I need to find the right amount of balance between what I do and don't reveal. Either way, I'm moving forward with the blog and my ardent writings which defines me both as a writer and as a person. I'm not going to apologize for who I am. I will apologize for revealing private details but that's it. Whatever happens as a result of my ramblings is out of my control. Keep reading.