The When Harry Met Sally Syndrome

Before I get to the theme of this blog, other things first. It's the beginning of April, but it's freezing outside. I have to wear a winter coat and gloves. I think my theory stands where it'll be cool and jump right into humid weather. I do wish it was a little warmer. It's spring for godsake. I also think grossly obese people shouldn't be allowed to ride the El, especially when their fatness takes up 2 seats. I mean, there's already enough of an overcrowded train issue and fat people just add to it. Not to discriminate or anything. This week, my job hasn't itched me to jump off the roof as much, but at times the people I work with irritate me. Especially the chick who brings in her dog who thinks she's some sort of know it all. When she arrived today, (thankfully dog-less) my mood took a quick nosedive. Her utter presence annoys me. There's another girl here who never shuts the hell up, but she's the kind you can't take seriously. She irritates me in a comical way. Despite those two, it's fine. Well, as find as having a job can be. Tonight I am driving home to Ohio for the weekend. I haven't been home (or out of Chicago) since the end of January, so it'll be a nice respite. I just feel bad having to take a day off work. I also have some deadlines to meet.

The film When Harry Met Sally asks the proverbial question, "Can men and women be friends?" The film's answer is, not really. This is something I think about because I'm the type who likes to be friends with guys when the fling or whatever you want to call it ends. I don't know how successful I've been at doing this, though. There are two categories to this. First, if you are friends with a guy for a while, like years, and then get involved, your chances of still being friends is higher after the fling ends because you already have that foundation established. But, sometimes it can destroy the friendship and you have nothing left. It depends how involved you get. If emotions come into play then you're fucked. I have been successful to a degree at this, but the ones where emotions developed, no way. I think most of my flings have involved meeting with the pretense of being romantic, not to be buddies. Of course, people always say the cliche: "I think we should be friends," but this is nearly impossible. Even if you are "friends" in the platonic context, you'll still want to secretly rip each others clothes off. You just can't act upon it, though. It's quite the quandary. And sometimes what's the point in hanging out? Are you just going to sit there and talk? I like the idea of it. I can sit there and just talk but then my mind wanders to other scenarios.

I'm able to maintain a close friendship with Ex Boyfriend, but that's a separate category, I think. There is one guy I'm surprised how we've remained in touch. Granted, I don't see him much, but yesterday we talked for quite a bit online catching up. I may even collaborate with him on a new project, so sometimes it's good to stay friends. You never know. He's probably the exception and it did take me a while to feel okay with it. Then there's a certain someone who I did everything I could to maintain a friendship with him, but he wasn't having it. A part of me couldn't just be friends with him, but he also was a poor communicator. It came down to the fact we weren't compatible. Communication is very important in maintaining any sort of relationship. So, he's out of my life and now I feel quite ambivalent about him, but it's really for the best. Maybe down the road we'll reconnect. This city is so small I know I'll eventually run into him and damn if it won't be awkward. That's the key I guess--is it awkward when you do see each other? Can you suppress the temptation when you're alone in a room together, drunk? You have to avoid those situations sometimes.

Right now I'm trying to be friends with someone and I don't know if it's going to work. We do communicate and keep trying to plan something, but who knows. All the other stuff gets in the way. I just don't want to keep talking about it. And whether it lasts is another thing. Maybe we'll hang out as buddies once and then never do it again. But, I believe in maintaining these friendships. I am able to do it just as long as those emotions don't get the best of me. To quote Liz Phair: "It's harder to be friends than lovers/And you shouldn't try to mix the two/cause if you do it and you're still unhappy/then you know the problem is you." Um, yeah. I admit I can be a bit nutty in these situations, stressing, freaking out, driving the guy crazy, so I need to lay off a bit and try to relax and have more of a "whatever" attitude and allow it to have a life of its own. I need to take a step back, be patient, and see what evolves. Give it some time and hope for the best. As long as it's mutually consented to be friends, then usually something will work out at some juncture. I think. Either way, being friends is very complicated, but I think it can be done, maybe not right away. It's tough to work backwards.

Here are a couple of recommendations for the week:

The Human Giant. Hilarious new MTV sketch comedy show. Watch it.

Season 2 of Twin Peaks on DVD. Fucking brilliant. Best. Show. Ever.

Also, you may have noticed Google ads appearing on my blog. Everytime you click an ad, I get money. I don't know how much--probably like a cent--but click, click, click!!