The Long Weekend

Over the extended weekend, I went home to Ohio to chill for a couple of days. It was my mom's b-day on Saturday, so we had a low key celebration. When I go home, I simply do nothing. I watch movies and hang out at home, for the most part. I sleep. It's some quality R&R before heading back to my chaotic and uncertain life in Chicago. I watched three movies over the weekend: Little Children, Volver, and Come Early Morning. The former was good, but disturbed me on so many levels. It reinforced my logic on not wanting to ever get married, have kids, and settle down in the suburbs. Life isn't what it seems in the suburbs and the movies and books I read concur with my perception. Volver was also good, albeit less disturbing. I think the two films have similar themes of redemption, trying to make a wrong right, and the idea we are always responsible for our actions. They both ended on ambiguous and unresolved notes, which is what a good movie should do. It should leave you with more questions than answers. I then watched a little indie film starring Ashley Judd that came out last year called Come Early Morning. She plays a chick who goes to bars, gets drunk, and as a result has a lot of one night stands with strangers. She also has some serious issues with her father. I guess I could relate to her character a little. She meets a guy and they start dating and he asks her: "When was the late time you kissed someone sober?" That resonated with me. I do in fact know when I kissed someone sober and believe it or not, it wasn't too long ago, but yeah, I realized a lot of times it's when I have been drinking. Oops. She eventually sabotages (sounds familiar) her potential relationship with this dude and tries to rectify it, but it's too late, he's found someone else. She gives him the line: "I'm not good at relationships. They're like eating a grapefruit–at first it's perfect, but then quickly becomes an ugly." She's absolutely right. Relationships are like grapefruits. They seem pure but the more you get involved, the deeper you get, the more complicated and messy they become until there's nothing left but the rind. And maybe this is one reason I try to avoid both grapefruits and relationships. Grapefruits are also sour unless you pour lots of sugar on them. Okay, enough with the metaphors. But, in the end of the film, Ashley Judd's character gets her own company and is manless. She realizes she can be happy without some stupid guy. I think she's onto something. Us singletons should take comfort in being alone. We don't need someone to make us happy! Right? Of course every once in a while...well...yeah. So maybe I should just focus on myself and especially finding that dream job. Once the career falls into place, so will the rest. I also need to subscribe to the "it'll happen when you're not looking" adage. Easier said then done, though.

I also spent the weekend listening to Woxy.com's annual top 500 Modern Rock Countdown. I spent hours yesterday downloading all the songs I've never heard in a bid to educate myself on the modern rock genre. I discovered a lot of new songs and new bands I've never heard of. According to the countdown, David Bowie, Velvet Underground, and Bob Marley are all considered modern rock. I never thought of it that way. Anyway, now I'm familiar with bands like The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy (it has hip-hop in the title, get it?), Firehose, and The Bears.

Finally, today would've been my dad's 72nd b-day. It's strange because my parents b-days are only 2 days apart, but my mom is 9 years younger than my dad. Just thinking about my dad brings tears to my eyes. He's been gone for over 6 months, but it hasn't gotten easier. Maybe it never gets easier. I still can't really discuss it without getting upset. One night I was in a bar with a friend, and I told him about my dad and I started to cry. In a bar. With people staring at me. Good times. But, life goes on. I just hope he's watching over me somewhere, protecting me, and giving me some much need guidance. I hope he'll steer me in the right direction. So, wherever you are Dad, Happy B-day. I miss you very much.