Bah-Humbug

The weekend flew by fast as always and as always, I'm feeling tired. I spent Friday and Saturday nights at shows. Both were pretty good. It had been a while since I'd gone to one. I'm seeing Aimee Mann's Christmas show tomorrow night that will be cool, indeed. The weather still has been cold, but at least some of the snow has turned to slush. I wish the city would de-ice the sidewalks more. It sucks to walk and risk your life on them.

Tonight is Time Out's Holiday party and I'm not there. It was weird being in the office today. Everyone gets to go to the cool party but me. I don't like feeling left out. Today I worked really hard all day but I know I won't be rewarded for it. Or, maybe I will, I don't know. Even if no one notices at least I know I accomplished/learned something for the day. But something has to give, already. Anyways, I'm going to Radio Free Chicago's Christmas party tomorrow night and we're all taking turns djing at this bar called The Burlington. I'm sorta excited because I've never DJ'd before even if it's just with my Ipod. I have an entire playlist planned out so I hope it goes well and people like my tunes. Wednesday night is My Open Bar's holiday party, so I have 3 hours of free booze to look forward to, and probably a hang over the next day. I guess things aren't entirely bad, but they could be so much better. Sometimes everything just feel so damn futile. I wish I was better prepared and more responsible at times. Another thing is I have been trying to diet, and when I say diet, I mean I've put myself basically on a liquid one consisting of water, coffee, hot chocolate, V8 juice, beer, and scrambled eggs (for the protein). I don't know if it's working or not. I guess I feel if I starve myself not only will I lose weight but I'll also save money. I don't really need food and honestly, I'm not that hungry. Of course I know this isn't healthy, but I like to challenge myself in weird ways, yunno, like see how long I can go without eating. Or maybe I just have an eating disorder. Isn't it chic these days to have an eating disorder?

I keep hoping some of my freelance checks will come in the mail, but alas, nope. I don't understand why it takes weeks for me to get a damn check. C'mon! I received the new Magnetic Fields cd today but I'm afraid to listen to it. I'm afraid it won't be any good, but I have to review it. I hope it's awesome or else I'll be disappointed. It can't be any worse than their last one, I suppose. Today I interviewed the lead singer of The Walkmen, actually one of my fave bands to emerge in the past few years. I've been lucky to interview a lot of cool bands lately. I couldn't understand what he said most of the time and of course thought of more questions after the fact. I hate it when that happens. Still, it's another good clip to have. Another note, is apparently I have some sort of cult following. Some random dude Myspaced me saying he downloaded all of my Top 40 Songs from 2006 and wanted my list for 2007. I posted an article on a website last year with my picks so he must've read it. I always wonder if anyone is truly reading my stuff, so at least I seem to have one fan out there.

I haven't really given much thought to the the new year. I know I should be making resolutions and goals, but I have no idea what's in store. Some things I'd like to see happen: getting my own place with my own stuff, a job that I love, traveling to SXSW and France and everywhere else I could possibly go, and maybe, oh just maybe, actually get into a relationship with a well-adjusted guy. Scary, I know. I guess I'd just like to be more of an adult in the new year because I still feel like such a kid sometimes. I'm not cut out for this real world thing. I mean, I thought things were supposed to get better in your 30s? Yet the debt and drama keeps piling up. Whatever.

It's almost mid-December and I'm not in the Xmas spirit at all. Every year it feels less and less like Xmas. I hardly notice it anymore except for the cold weather. If only things could go a little more my way, if only this holiday could be different from last year, maybe, just maybe, I could have a wonderful Christmastime/NYE.