Everything Hits at Once

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed these days. I don't know what it is about the holidays that brings out the worst in everyone. You think it'd be the opposite. Everything feels a little out of whack right now. I can feel things beginning to shift and break apart. I'm not the only one feeling the uncertainty right now. A lot of my friends seem to be really depressed for various reasons. My issues are as follows: financial problems, ie, no money. My roommate keeps pressuring me to pay him for bills and I just don't have it even though last week I gave him a lot of money. It's like, give me a break! I keep thinking I want to move to a new place soon. I don't want to live with him anymore. I get along with my other roommate great but he keeps talking about moving as well. We hang out and have the same friends but I have absolutely nothing to talk to the other one about. We have nothing in common. Oh well. I'm just not good living with people. Another thing I'm coping with is my Swedish friend is gone. I really miss him. A few other of my friends and I are devastated he's gone. And what's really upsetting me is I so desperately NEED to travel around the world but I don't know when or if I'll ever have the money to do it. I really want to go to Sweden to visit him or else I may not ever see him again. I wish a bag of money would fall from the sky so I can travel. Sigh. My passport is gathering dust. It needs some stamps this coming year. There's also a lot of activity going on. Tomorrow night I'm supposed to see two different bands play. I have writing deadlines. I have another My Open Bar event on Thursday. Friday is my friends sketch show opening. Saturday I have to drive back to Ohio for Christmas. Too much. I just want the holidays to be over with. I still don't have plans for New Year's Eve and everyone keeps asking what's going on and there really isn't anything going on. I'm trying to convince my roommate to throw a party, so we'll see. That seems like the only doable option right now.

Today my Time Out boss took myself and another intern out for lunch to make up for the fact we weren't invited to the holiday party. I talked to him a little about job opportunities. There are openings, but I'm not qualified for them. I think I need to start hitting up the different editors and see what happens. I wish I could at least get paid for the writing I do for them, but I don't know. I'm going to stick it out a while longer and pray I'm in the right place at the right time. I have to stick it out. I'm getting close.

This weekend was busy. Friday night my friend threw a party. We ended up playing flip cup, a game I've shamefully never played. I realize there is a reason not to play. It gets you really drunk. Saturday night my Swedish friend cooked a few of us an authentic Swedish dinner. I don't really like Swedish food. It's nothing but pickled herring, strong vodka, and meat products. He made some good bread though and I discovered blue cheese on gingerbread crackers are quite yummy. We got about a foot of snow that night which made for an interesting journey to a couple of bars. On the way, there was an impromptu snowball fight. We went to a couple of bars despite the blizzard. It was great to hang out with everybody. Last night I had my last dinner with the Swede and then said goodbye. I had goodbyes.

I've been on an emotional rollercoaster the past couple of days. There are other things that are getting at me but I won't discuss them here. 2008 has to be my year. It just has to be the year that it all comes together. Or else I don't know.