The Weekend of Nothingness

I didn't do much this weekend and it was nice. After being completely obliterated by Lolla last weekend, I just wanted to chill for a few days. The first picture above is the view from my apartment. Jealous? I wake up everyday to the lake. Sometimes I wake up to see the dawn burning off the horizon. Spectacular. The second pic is the view from the Museum Campus a block from my apt. It's probably the best view of the city I've ever seen. Just imagine it at night, if you will. I wish I had a boat or knew someone who could take me out on theirs. It's been surprisingly cool the past couple of days. Too cool for swimming, even. I tried to lay out by the pool/swim yesterday, but it started to sprinkle. I went swimming the other night. I was the only one there. At first the water was chilly, but I got used to it. This past week, I've been somewhat anti-social. I've received a lot of invites to only turn them all down. I know I shouldn't be alienating people at this point considering I need all the friends I can get now, but I like being isolated in my 'hood. It's such a stretch to leave my apt. I'll also admit I've been spending a lot of time with the boyfriend. I think when I'm in a relationship, I just want to spend all my free time with the guy. But, there needs to be a balance in spending time with someone and still having your own life. I learned that the hard way in my last relationship. The boyfriend will be in Miami on business for the next couple of days so hopefully I can come out of my shell a little bit. I will miss him, though. Aw. I'm trying not to be the stereotypical, clingy girlfriend that I've been in the past, but it's hard sometimes. I'm so impatient and controlling. Time apart is sometimes good, right? I'll use this time to get shit done. I really need to find a place to live. And the guy I'm subletting from has an array of Italian movies I need to watch. Unfortunately, some of them are scratched. I need to finish a writing project and I still need to get my car fixed. The process is taking forever I fear it'll never get fixed. I also need to start soliciting other publications and writing more. But having a day job zaps all my energy. I wish I could just save a bunch of money, quit my job and travel for a while. It's a Catch 22, though--can't travel with no money, and no job equals no money, but if you have a full-time job, you can't take time off to travel. There are so many friends/places I need to visit. A ticket to Austin costs about $300, which is ridic. But, a ticket to Nashville is only $150. I think I can manage that.

Anyway, back to the weekend. Friday night the boyfriend and I hung out and drank in the apartment. Saturday, we ate at a good diner across the street. There seems to be a dearth of good diners in this city. It's the convenience that I love most about the 'hood: grocery store, liquor store, restaurants, Starbucks, train and museums all within a block of my place. I will miss this when I move. There are still some places I need to take advantage while I'm living down here. I especially would like to go to Shedd Aquarium and some other eateries. Saturday night we watched the movie 4 months, 3 weeks and 2 Days. It's a Romanian movie about abortion. It was fairly good but dragged on in parts. This afternoon I actually cooked the boyfriend and I brunch! I'm becoming so domesticated. I think I draw the line at eggs. That's all I can really cook. And pasta. I've become obsessed with espresso. The guy I'm subletting from has an espresso machine, so I keep drinking it to the point where I shake. Not good.

I'm feeling restless these days. I desperately want to travel. I want things to move forward. I want the boyfriend to meet my family and vice versa (which is coming up). I want to hang out with certain people I haven't seen in a while. I want to be able to do everything and fit everything into my schedule. I want a solid career doing what I love. I need to go to the dentist and stuff like that, but since I don't have health insurance, it all adds up, but I need to take care of myself. I also want to geek out and watch the Olympics, but the tv at my place doesn't seem to work outside of DVD watching. Oh well. I should read a book anyway and enjoy my fortress of solitude.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's possible to have it all, like both a successful relationship and career at the same time. I feel like it's either one of the other and not both. And which is harder: maintaining a solid relationship or career? I'm guessing the latter is easier to sustain. Someday I hope to have both at the same time and be able to balance them equally as well.